Thursday, November 09, 2006

On Jesus and Driving

I don't know if anyone actually reads this blog. I would like to have some regular readers but if I don't I'll probably do it anyway just to get a few things off my it Blog therapy if you like. If anyone out there is reading, be forewarned that although I am Christian (Missouri-Synod Lutheran) I don't consider myself to be overtly evangelistic and this site is not necessarily for that purpose. So the following falls into the category I'm going to call "Moments of Epiphany" to which I am going to devote the occaisional blog entry whenever the spirit moves me.

Recently, I have been experiencing what I can only call a 'redneck crisis' I was raised in the South and accept that I have a redneck side and even though I rebelled against country music in my youth, I find that in mid-life I'm getting moments when I just want to listen to that Nashville sound. It just feels good to listen to and belt out a country song from time to time. But I have come across couple of songs that I just can't seem to sing.
Those who know me well know that there are few songs that I can't sing. God gave me a fine instrument to work with. My father has frequently admonished me for not using that gift to the glory of God and benefit of myself. Well, American Idol winner Carrie Underwood released a song that I can't sing. A song that has won critical acclaim and become a number one hit from a woman who recently won big at the Country Music Association Awards. The song is called "Jesus Take the Wheel" (click link for the lyrics, Click below to watch the video)

Why can't I sing this song? It's not musically difficult for me, I have the range to take it. But every time, I sing it or even hear it I get choked up, tears well up and then I just laugh at myself because I can't understand the reason that this song moves me so much.
Is it Carrie's voice? No, the emotion she puts it might to tug at the heart strings a little and she has a beautiful voice that is perfect for singing this kind of music, she will go far in Nashville.
Is it the music? I don't think so, it starts off in C...a lot of C...G/B...Am7...etc...nothing spectacularly moving or different from any other country song.
Is it the words? Yes! The words. The words of a woman who thinks she is about to die on an icy road asking the Lord to take over and save her and her baby and ultimately lamenting the fact that she has not been as faithful as she should have been in her increasingly difficult life. I hear her singing about looking at her sleeping baby after the car comes to a stop and I see my own son sleeping in the back seat. That is a moment of raw emotion. But I suppose the real reason that the song moves me so is that I lament my own lack of faith and the song reminds me of that. I realize daily that I have struggles and things in my life that I sometimes feel are overwhelming and I frequently feel that am spinning out of control and on a collision course with destiny. The song reminds me that I don't pray enough. It calls me out on my complacency and lack of devotion to the Lord. It makes me remember that I too haven’t stopped and 'bowed my head to pray' in a long time and as a makes me do just that.
Today, I started talking to my daughter about Jesus for the first time and I'm going to talk to my wife about getting our son baptized (something LONG overdue). Maybe I'm a little nuts for letting a song get me all worked up like that or maybe Jesus is trying to tell me something. What's he saying to you?


John McCrarey said...

Hi, first time visitor to your blog. Wanted you to know that you do have a reader. I'm far from religious myself, but I did enjoy this post. I really respect people of faith, especially those who can express their own fraility and failings. What's that old saying? Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven.

Anyway, keep writing. You never know who is going to stop by.

fencerider said...

thx john...hope to see you again soon:)