View from the fence

Headline of the day

2009-04-27T18:42:00.003+09:00

From the Korea times web page:

Guess the government is getting its ass ready for the conglomerates. I wonder what the conglomerates will do with that?

Advice for Kia

2009-02-15T16:13:00.003+09:00

News of falling auto sales for Kia in "emerging" markets reminds me of my recent experience with Kia here in the UAE:
Last October, before the crisis really heated up, I priced a brand new Kia Carnival, fully loaded long body version at 90,900 dirhams (at that time about 31,800,000 Korean Won. 1dhs=350krw) I didn't buy it for two reasons. First, the price was near the same for the fully loaded version in Korea BUT it really wasn't fully loaded. It had NO leather seats, NO ABS, No side curtain airbags, NO a/v system...basically...a entry level long-body Carnival in Korea for the same price as one fully loaded. Not only that, but they didn't have it in the color I wanted and I would have to wait 6 months for that. No thanks!!
So, a few months later, while Korea was in the thoes of a 1997IMF-style currency crisis (which we WILL see again this year) and all the Japanese makers were raising their prices due to the strengthening of the Yen against the dirham, I went to re-price the Carnival. I was thinking maybe since the currency was taking a nosedive, they would rethink their extortionistic prices (though i wouldn't buy one without the leather and a/v anyway). What did I find....everything status quo. And, since people here prefer to buy Japanese and German cars, Kia basically removes themselves as a player in the business here by offering an inferior car with inferior options and inferior safety for an inflated price.

My advice to the makers of KIA: If you want people to respect your product then you have to offer your best...especially when you are doing it overseas in competition with people who make better cars than you. Carnival is a fine car if it were offered with all of the options, otherwise, its just not worth it.

How I got a 2 million won a month raise.

2008-11-22T13:13:00.000+09:00

In July, as I have mentioned, I accepted a position teaching English in the UAE. At that time, the expected salary was almost twice my Korean uni salary at 3.95million. So, with all the benefits (international school tuition for my kids, 8 million won equivalent furniture/settling allowance, yearly roundtrip air for me and the family, housing, medical, more...) it was tough to pass up.
But now, thanks to the KRW nose-dive over the last 5 months, I am now making the equivalent of almost 6 million won a month (and rising). Its getting easier and easier to pay off those credit cards. I stayed through the 1997 IMF crisis in Korea and this is looking just like that only in slow motion. Anyone out there think we will reach the same 2000 won to the dollar rate we saw in 1997?
I hate to say it because I have relatives and friends in Korea who are in for a rough ride. But one does what is necessary to feed one's seed. Looks like I bailed out just in time.

Korean B-boys and Samulnori in the UAE

2008-10-27T12:36:00.002+09:00

The night before last I attended a concert at the Abu Dhabi National theater. Performing were a troup of Korean Samulnori and B-boy dancers. I'm not sure who hosted the entire event (I think it was the Korea-Arab League and perhaps KNTO) but it was nice after a couple of months away to see and hear some familliar things. I have met several Korean families since I have been here but I had no idea that there was such a large presence.
The show was delightfullly entertaining. I really expected the usual B-boy hip-hop thing and figured my daughter would love it but they fused modern 'b-boy dance' with some classical music and even samulnori. I particularly enjoyed the b-boy rendetions of Pachelbel and Arirangs; a delightful fusion of modern dance and hip-hop set to classical music.
Of course there was the expected 'sparkling' aggrandizing of Korea as a tourist destination but as I watched, I felt myself unexpectedly proud of the presentation of Korea and its attractions. Perhaps it takes a new perspective to appreciate it after 12 years.

You 'Won' Some You Lose Some

2008-10-27T12:31:00.000+09:00

As my first post from the UAE, I just couldn't resist the urge to gloat a bit over good fortune had. Though I really hate to revel in the misfortunes of others, the won has been taking a real beating lately. Meanwhile, I have watched my UAE salary converted to won (I still have debts 'back home' in Korea) increase by about 1.7million won since I took the job in July. It makes the 30 some odd million I lost selling my apartment just a little less painful.

Stuff packed

2008-08-27T14:22:00.003+09:00

Departure is the end of next week. Last Thursday we went to Seoul to take care of the attesting of documents and on Friday the shipping company came and moved the boxes of aforementioned stuff from our house. MinHang Shipping has so far done and outstanding job of packing our stuff and getting it out of the house. We are quoted a rate of 2.1million won for about 7CBM door to door. We wound up having a couple extra boxes to ship and we sent those to the company the following monday and they said they would include them with the rest of the shipment; all total 47 boxes of life in Korea. We'll see if arrives all in one piece.
This may be my last posting for a while. Life is getting pretty hectic and it's hard to get online to take care of the blogging biz....so to all my loyal readers (2 or 3 of you) i'll keep you posted from the other side (of asia).

How to pack 12 years of shit stuff

2008-08-12T08:53:00.004+09:00

I came here 12 years ago with two suitcases and a carry-on backpack with the intention of working for a year and hightailing it to Japan to make some money. Somewhere in between plans got switched, I got bewitched and hitched, going to Japan got pitched, and my niche was enriched with a plethora of goods which now have to be ditched. What a bitch!
So, what to do with 12 years of accumulated household goods? We examined the cost of shipping from just about every angle. The best option seems like LCL (Less than container load) shipping. We learned a lot about the shipping business in the process. Here are a few tidbits:
1. Shipping by air is usually measured and charged by weight whereas by sea is measured/charged by volume.
2. Volume is counted in CBM's (Cubed Meters) which does not mean what it seems at first. (1CBM equals 1x1x1meter).
3. Minimum shipping for most companies seems to be 3CBM (1x1x1m x 3) which is roughly the size of 3 large washing machines.
4. There are ways to send things by packing yourself and taking the goods to the pier and there is a significant amount of money to be saved by doing this but the headache involved with paperwork and picking up in the next country is just not worth the aggravation unless you know what you are doing.
5. Door to Door shipping is the easiest since they come to your house, pack your stuff and deliver it to you in your destination.

The best price we found so far is 1.3 million won for 3CBM door to door. (500,000 if I bring it to the pier and pack it myself and take my chances with customs in Dubai or AbuDhabi). We opted for the former.

However, the big problem is choosing which of our belongings will make the trip. Furniture is out since we can't afford the 6 million won for a full container. So, we are having a series of 'garage'sales (more like apartment flea markets) to get rid of the stuff we don't want.
First come the clothes: and now I know there is nothing more painful (or potentially life threatening) than watching your pregnant wife have to sort through her old clothes and separate them into boxes of 1)must go 2)might go 3)sell and 4)give to goodwill. It took me 20 minutes to pare down my clothes to one large suitcase or so.
Then the books: How in the world I accumulated so many books I will never know but I could literally open my own English language book store with used, hardly used and never used English books. And for some reason, throwing them away is probably as painful to me as clothes are for my wife.
Kids toys: sent the 2 year old away for a few weeks to grandma's and the 6 year old is dealing pretty well with losing some of her toys but we haven't told her we have to ditch some of her barbie dolls yet. We told her we'd buy her some more when we get there
Kitchen wares: I love to cook and I have accumulated more kitchen thingies than men should be allowed to have outside a professional kitchen. I decided to keep my Tupperware and a few of the better tools and get rid of the rest. It was surprisingly painless except for the 20KG of cookbooks that I opted to toss since most everything I need can be had on the Internet these days.

So, sometime soon, the men will come, the boxes will be packed and we will be left with the rest in an apartment now practically devoid of furniture.

Saying Goodbye to Korea

2008-08-01T12:55:00.004+09:00

I recently applied and received an offer to teach in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates. So, after a 12 year stay in Korea, I have decided to pack up my 12 years of belongings, prepare my wife and kids and move on to greener pastures. The reaction of my colleagues, friends and family has been a mixed bag of incredulity, congratulations, advice and warning. The university in the UAE has made an offer that I can scarce afford to pass up: A salary I can live well on, the stability of a 3 year contract, the comfort of a 3-4 bedroom apartment for me and my family, airline tickets to UAE for me and my family, yearly round-trip airline tickets back to the US for me and my family (soon to be 5 people) as well as tickets home at the end of contract, a generous furniture allowance (more than 8 million won), paid international school education for my children from age 5 (can you imagine 3 children in Korean international schools on a foreign English teacher's salary?), 1 month salary per year severence bonus, free medical insurance for me and my family, a brand new state-of-the-art laptop computer, a generous excess baggage allowance and end-of-contract moving allowance..there's lots more but I have to save something for later.
On the down side, there is not as much vacation as working at a Korean university and I have to work a few more hours (20 as opposed to 15). Most people seem to be concerned about the weather but I understand that AD is very livable most of the year (its just the summer that is unbearable). As with any job that involves another culture, I am sure there will be difficulties adjusting to the culture of the UAE but I understand that foreigners make up more than 80 percent of the country and English is the Lingua Franca so I don't need to learn Arabic (though I would like to).
The impending and existing presence of several top notch world university sattelite campuses (NYU and Harvard Med for example) also seems promising. The UAE is trying to bill itself as an Educational Hub (see Korea is not the ONLY hubmaker in the world) of the Middle East so this should make the academic environment interesting if nothing else.

It's not really that I want to leave Korea, its just that this is too good an opportunity to pass up for the sake of my family as well as my career. For those of my readers who are interested, I will be trying to continue this blog from there and hope to be doing some open comparison between the teaching situation here and there. Much of what I have read indicates that there are some striking similarities. I am sure that I am not the first English teacher to go from here to there but I certainly hope to be able to enlighten some of the Waygook crowd to the contrasts.

For now, the pandemonium of moving in about a month has gripped every corner of my life and if I don't go crazy in the process I am sure I will be better off for it. I certainly hope my regular readers stay tuned and perhaps a few others will become interested in my transition.
Stay tuned

Quote of the day

2008-05-31T09:32:00.002+09:00

The manager of a government sponsored hotline for foreign brides in Korea said:

"The South Korean public is illiterate in cultural diversity, so they have to catch up and learn as soon as they can," Kwon said.

I wonder if she actually said this in English as the Reuters article suggests by its use of quotations. If so, a bit of wisdom that needs to be heeded before it's too late. It emphasises something I have been saying since the very first day my daughter entered pre-school. Since the Korean Government is so hot to get Overseas Koreans to come over here and work for peanuts in the public school system perhaps they should get some to come over and spread the word in the form of diversity training for educators from pre-school. Cultural diversity education begins with teaching the children to recognize differences as normal rather than something to be pointed and stared at or avoided.

Costco to the rescue

2008-05-31T09:06:00.003+09:00

All the threats, protests, boycotts, and general unrest aside, US Beef is coming to a Costco near you. An inside source Costco reports that they will begin selling begin selling choice US cuts as soon as they are made available. I couldn't get him to give me an idea of the cost savings as they "will be determined by market influences." That was to say if the leftist US Beef rebels and their ilk won't buy it, maybe the foreign communtiy can get a bargain on some of that meat that's been sitting in a Busan warehouse for the last seven months. Personally, I'm looking forward to a good old fashioned beef rib barbeque.

On a related note, a venerable professor emeritus with whom I chat from time to time would like to assure the foreign community that dispite all of the public protesting and hand wringing the "silent majority of Koreans" actually know that US Beef is fine and plan to purchace it when it is available. He would like us to know that it is the radical anti-American factions that are fueling the protests and the leftist 'hot' media are stoking the flames to make it appear more dire than it is. Assuming this is true, one of the questions that I have yet to see answered and one that could shine a light on the source of some of the madness is: Who is funding the production of all of those protest plackards and T-shirts for the protests? These things produced in large numbers are not an insignificant investment. Perhaps the answer to that question would help us to understand exactly who is the real driving force behind the protests. But, I digress.

See you at Costco!

Having 3 kids in Korea

2008-05-08T10:36:00.002+09:00

Well, it has been official for some time now, but a third little bundle of joy is on the way in December. This one was not necessarily planned but is certainly welcome.
I understand that Korea is having a bit of a population crisis and is encouraging people to have more than two children through several incentives that vary from city to city for those who have a third (or more) child. Some of those I have heard of include cash stipends, free car seats and strollers, free garbage disposals, free highway toll fees in certain cities among a host of other things. Again, the bennies all depend on where you live and for those interested it is best to contact your local office (동사무서) as well as district and city offices (구,군,시) for specific information on what is available in your area.
For those living in Daegu, stay tuned here and I will try to keep you informed as I get the information. Since the baby is not due till December and planning for new incentives is still underway, I expect much to change between now and then.

Why US Beef is doomed in Korea

2008-05-08T09:43:00.004+09:00

Because this is happening all over Korea right now:

It basically says, "We do not use any imported beef here."

So, being the obtusely inquisitive person that I am, I asked the director of the Pre-school, "Why did you put this sign up?"

"Because mother's are concerned about Mad Cow disease in imported beef."

"Duh," I thought rather than said and assured her that there is no logical reason to believe there is any problem with US Beef and I was unhappy with the choice to put up this sign.

This is in a pre-school that is part of a Early Childhood Education Department in an institution of higher learning! Basically, against all reason they are kowtowing to the wishes of a few mothers who are reacting to the media and lobbyist scaremongering telling them that US Beef is somehow dangerous. Instead of reducing the costs of providing meals for the children so that they can provide more educational value, they are paying (or in this case plan to continue paying) the exorbitant price of Korean beef (we can assume they are also not using Australian beef since the sign indicates 'imported' beef and not US beef by name) not to mention perpetuating the myth that US beef is somehow more dangerous than Korean beef. As Metropolitician points out a likely fact, more people have died of e-coli and such in Korean beef than of Mad Cow disease in the US. Someone with better Korean skills than I should call the KFDA and get those numbers and put them somewhere for all to see (anyone wanna race?).

Of course, it probably won't matter because, again as Metropolitician suggests (and something we all suspect), most Koreans view death or injury caused by foreigners as somehow more unacceptable than those caused by Koreans (for example, where traffic accidents are concerned) so the fact that Korean beef kills people wouldn't make the average Korean bat an eye but if (God forbid), a single person should ever die at the hands of US Beef whether from Mad Cow, E-coli, or just choking on one of those short ribs set to be imported, the media would go into a feeding frenzy and downtown Seoul would light up like World Cup 2002 all over again with protesters and candlelight vigils resulting in the banning of US Beef from Korean stores for the rest of time thus insuring the longevity of Hanwoo monopoly.

US Beef is doomed because the deck is stacked against it. The local Media, Lobbyists and Farmers, Politicians, Housewives and now even your local pre-school and restaurants are, against all possible logic, taking a stand against it. It has been made into a "national safety" and "Korean Pride" issue and those who would buy US Beef will be made to feel that they are somehow endangering those to whom they serve the beef.

I said it before and I will say it again that I would not be a bit surprised, after US Beef imports start, if some of the crackpots who oppose US Beef imports would actually somehow try to infect someone eating US Beef with Mad Cow disease or E-coli in order to perpetuate the myth and get rid of US Beef. After all, large amounts of money and national 'pride' are involved

What I really need is a 500 word essay in Korean about why it is illogical to hate Korean beef. This essay should supported by facts from reliable references from both Korea and abroad. I want to be able to just smile and hand it to any person (including my wife's family) who believes that US Beef is somehow inherently dangerous and should not be imported.

Attack of the killer snow crabs!!!

2008-04-24T16:23:00.004+09:00

I took this last month on my way back from the Uljin Snow Crab Festival. This is the lighthouse at YeongDuk, the original home of the Snow Crab Festival. It's a really nice area to take a drive and there are also an interesting crop of these things overlooking the ocean in the same area.

ON ROCINANTE!!!

Hit and Run!! (or Why you should never buy a new car in Korea)

2008-04-21T10:13:00.010+09:00

Recently, on three separate occasions and in two different locations, I have been the victim of hit and run drivers. Thankfully, I was not in the car at the time of my victimization but the scars remain. My few loyal readers will recognize that I have not had the best of luck with driving in Korea and I want to make it clear that I am not out there looking for trouble by parking strange or in such a way that invites disaster. I park just like everyone else and I try to drive as much within the law as reason will allow. I just seem to have had unusually bad luck with vehicle accidents (none of which have been my fault) and parking lot incidents.

The first incident happened a few weeks after I had my front bumper painted because a bus hit me on the way to work. I didn't notice it when it happened and it was therefore difficult to determine where it occurred. Though I suspected that it had happened in the parking lot of the local ward office. I really didn't think that I would be able to do anything about it so I just (albeit reluctantly) let it go. It's hard to see a nicely redone bumper reduced to this:

My suspicions were reinforced a couple weeks later when the second incident happened.
I was teaching my volunteer class at the local ward office and I received a phone call during my break time. I thought it was just to come and move my car since the parking lot is often overcrowded and people often have to move their cars. But when I got to my car, the person who called me told me that a woman hit my car and drove away. They managed to get the color of the car and the main four numbers off the license plate and gave me a description of the woman driving. I was pleasantly surprised that the gentleman (a 20-something fellow) who gave me the information also gave me his phone number and told me that if I go to the police with that number they can find the culprit. If I needed a witness, he said I should call him. So, with my wife and 2-year-old in tow, I went to the local police station nearest to the ward office. I explained to the fellow my problem and gave him the information that I had. He took the information and my personal info and phone number and sent me away. He told my wife someone would contact us that afternoon.
A little later, we did receive a phone call and were told to go to the local police precinct station and speak to a certain fellow in charge of traffic investigations. He took pictures of my car and told me that they were still searching for the offender. We went home and received a phone call from him telling us that he had located the woman who hit me and she told him that she had called her insurance company and was going to 'try and find me' (I'm curious if she even got my license number and if not how would she do that) and that she had to leave the scene because of some problem with her child. She felt like she couldn't stop and take care of the problem because of the child. So the policeman asked me if I want to press charges. I said under the circumstances (I'm a dad too and though I was angry, I tried to be sensitive to the situation upon advice of my wife) I just want the car to be repaired. It was and in the meantime I got to drive a Hyundai Grandeur Q270 which my kids didn't want to give back.

In the most recent incident, I had taken a subway across town and my wife called and asked me if I had backed into a pole or something. I replied that I had not and when I got home at 11pm to check my car I saw that the back door was dented badly in three places and my newly painted back bumper was scratched. I immediately began to take pictures and went to the apartment management office to search the CCTV recordings. Unfortunately, the fellow in charge of that sort of thing was gone for the day and I was asked to return in the morning. The next morning, I spent about 2 hours searching footage from the previous 3 days to find out when it happened. Even though you KNOW someone hit you and you suspect that it happened in your own parking lot, nothing quite prepares you to see the following:

As you can see, the truck backed into me not once but twice and then just took off. We managed to get the license number of the vehicle and I went to the police station. The police accompanied me to the apartment management office and viewed the incident on the CCTV. They looked up the number of the truck using their cell phone and got a name and address right away. Turned out to be an elderly fellow in the next apartment line who profusely denied TO THE POLICE that he had hit anything. Even after they told him they had seen the CCTV of the incident, he still tried to question his involvement. He was told to come to the police station and meet with me. I really wanted to press charges on this guy because I had wasted an entire morning trying to track him down. I even kept telling myself that I was just going to throw the book at him but the poor guy just seemed so clueless to what he had done and he was appropriately apologetic and fortunately insured so I let him go and went to the car repair center.
The guy at the car center should have seemed surprised to hear me say I had been hit again but since this was the FIFTH time I had taken my car to him to be painted, he seemed less than surprised and more amused. I told him that I would need a rental car and since it was Friday and I had plans to go down to Busan for a weekend with the in-laws, I would need more than the average rental. I needed a van to carry at least 9 people and I would need it till Monday morning. After some discussion with the rental car company, I drove off in a car almost identical to my own for the weekend. The insurance company, by the way, was not enthusiastic about paying for a 3 day rental for a 1.5 day repair but I basically said that it was this or I go back to the police station and file charges on the guy for hit and run and take it to court. That seemed to do the trick and I got my car back on Monday and didn't hear anything from anyone.

So, for the reader who is interested in knowing: HOW DO I REPORT A HIT AND RUN?
You should go to your local police office (경찰지구대) with a Korean friend (unless you speak Korean). You must report to the investigating unit in the area where the incident occurred and NOT to the precinct office. If you are hit in your own parking lot and there is CCTV. Just call the police and they will come and investigate right there in the management office.

I have decided that a few things are necessary to protect your investment.
1. Whenever possible, park your car in a lighted area with CCTV. Even if it is less convenient it will save you aggravation later.
2. Probably the most important thing you can do: Always do a walk around of your car and make sure there is no new damage. If there is then contact the management immediately. Take pictures whenever possible.
3. Get the protective coating on your car. There are several places that can do this and it is not too expensive. Many of the fender 'rubs' and 'dings' that happen in parking lots can be rubbed out if you have proper protection.

And finally my rant on the subject of hit and run:

These are not the first incidents I have had. I have been rubbed and scraped and dinged numerous times. It just seems like they are getting worse. It has gone from a little knick in my door or some rubbed off paint on my fender to severe dents and paint dragged off to the fiberglass. And I just don't get how people just walk away from that. I have slightly rubbed a car from time to time and I aways track down the driver right away and take care of it. More often than not with minor rubs and knicks people just say 'don't worry about it' and go about their business. But really, the way it works around here there is actually disincentive to report your infraction. It's like this: If you don't report it, you have about a 95% chance that the person you hit will not even notice that damage has been done until later, at which time it will be hard to figure out where the damage was done. The other 5% of the time you can usually bluff your way out of it like these two people did. In the name of magnanimity (that is so prized in Korean culture) the offended person will usually let it go. At the very least, your insurance company will take care of the whole thing for you and you actually never have to hear about it again which is what happens if you report it in the first place. The problem with doing that is that your premiums go up if you do it too much. So, unless the damage is so severe that the car cannot be driven, driving off is actually to your advantage. Play the odds and hope you don't get caught...when you do, lie and beg your way out of it. But before anyone not from Korea goes off on me about responsibility and before anyone from Korea goes off on me about how this is "part of Korean culture and I just don't understand" Well, culturally speaking, that is just the way it is done and I'm not endorsing it either way. Listen to your heart, your conscience or your wallet...either way, just don't expect anyone to let you know if they hit your car.

So, I guess my solution is just to keep doing the above suggested things and hope that I can catch someone hitting the sides of my car and maybe someone throwing something heavy on my car from an apartment window, then I can get the rest of the car painted the same color as the bumpers and the back tailgate (another annoyance being that you can't get the whole car painted like you might wind up back home and they can never actually match the color 100% on older cars)...maybe next time I'll ask to rent an Equus for a weekend.

Happy motoring.

G-Spot 6 - Family Relationships

2008-04-08T12:39:00.003+09:00

Whenever I go to my wife's house for Chusok, Lunar New Year's Day or any other event that involves large numbers of in-laws I always get a bit confused about my identity. You see, back home, I know my name and most everyone calls me by name. Other's have names to, sometimes we attach an Uncle or an Aunt to the front of the given names or even a Grandma or Grandpa to the front of a family name. But in Korea, I could be called by at least 10 different names depending on who is doing the calling (just a couple of examples, GoMoBoo, MaeHyung, SohnJa...and the occaisional 'Hey You!'). I just can't keep track of them all. I long to just be called "Uncle Don" by anyone under the age of 30 and "Don" by everyone else but alas, it just doesn't work that way.
Since the words for family relationships in Korean often do not translate easily, students at many levels ask me about the words used to describe family relationships and I have racked my brain to try and come up with an easy way to explain it so that students can visualize it clearly. I'm sure that I've missed it somewhere and I'm open to any suggestions but the basics are this:

American family relational words are based on generational groups alone whereas Korean family relationship words are based on generational as well as patriarchal and matriarchal concepts.

Think of yourself as the middle or "0." Anyone in your general age group would fall into one the following: brother, sister, or cousin (I won't get into the distant cousin stuff here. A cousin's a cousin.) and husband/wife.
On the next level up or "+1" we have: mother, father, uncle, aunt.
One more up, or "+2" and you use "+1" with "grand": grandmother, grandfather, granduncle, grandaunt (note that some dialects choose "great uncle" or "great aunt").
Going down, or "-1" we have children: son, daughter, niece, nephew.
Finally at "-2" we use "-1" with "grand" again: granddaughter, grandson, grandniece, grandnephew.

There are more than just these family relationships but these are the basics. Most others can simply add a prefix or suffix to change the relationship. For example:

"Step-" is added to mother, father, sister, brother to denote that the relationship is a result of 'remarriage.'
"-in-law" is added to mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter to denote that the relationship is a relationship created by "Law" or marriage.
"ex-" is added to husband or wife to denote a relationship that results from divorce.
"half-" is added to brother or sister to denote that the two persons share 1/2 of the same 'blood' that is, the same mother OR father but not both.
"adoptive-" is added to mother, father, son or daughter to denote that the person is not a biological parent or child but related by adoption.

Though they are not often used in spoken English, we are able to denote father's family and mother's family as is done in Korean by calling someone "maternal" (for mother's) or "paternal" (for father's) family. For example, in Korean, a "wae-sam-chon (외삼촌)" would be called a "maternal uncle." "Paternal uncle" would refer to the father's brother. Brother's and Sister's family can be referred to by "fraternal" and "sororal." My brother's daughter could be called my "fraternal niece" and my sister's son could be called my "sororal nephew." Again, it should be emphasised that these relationships are not often used in conversation.

Finally, a note on usage: most of these expressions (I'll get to the exceptions in a minute) are used primarily to refer to our family in the third person (She is my aunt, He is my cousin. Why don't you call your Cousin BillyBob or your Granduncle Jethro? ) but not in the second person. It is not common to say for example: "Hi, brother." Instead, we would use that person's first name ("Hi, Guido! Howyadoo'in?"). The notable exceptions are aunts and uncles (referred to as Uncle/Aunt + First Name, "Uncle Don and Aunt Phyllis") and grandparents (referred to as Grandma/Grandpa + Last name, "Grandma Smith and Grandpa Wesson) which can be used in the second person.

In a nutshell, family relational words in English are much less complicated than their Korean counterparts. The most uncomfortable thing (culturally speaking) for Korean speakers of English in this context, is the use of an 'elder' person's name. Even in my own family, my wife is uncomfortable with my son referring to his older sister by her name rather than "noona" regardless of what language they are speaking.

Hope this helps someone out there get it straight.

Jumping on the "fly in my ____" bandwagon

2008-04-08T12:21:00.004+09:00

Occasionally, I like to keep up with the Jones', Kim's and Park's so I thought I'd share my experience with a particular baby food company. The following picture is from a package of a popular Korean brand of baby gruel. The quality is not the best but it is pretty obvious to any observer that at least one of the little brownish spots has legs. My wife really wanted to just let it go originally but then I thought, what if this is a regular thing. I certainly didn't want my 1 year old eating 6-legged creatures and I'm sure others didn't either.

In retrospect, I probably should have made a bigger deal of it but all I did was contact the company. They sent out a representative who came over and looked at the offending rice and it's packaging (even took the evidence with him in a plastic bag) and offered to give us a few freebies of the company's product (by mail....as if). There were the expected, 'this is not a usual thing' and 'sorry about this' yada yada yada and an unceremonious exit. A follow-up phone call a few days later and that was the end of it. No closed down factory lines, no headlines. I was content pretty much to let it go until the recent spat of headlines about rats in snacks then flies and wood chips in the beer. Just thought I'd share.

I just have to wonder out loud though...if I was content to let well enough alone...how many other people out there have similar experiences with various food companies that have just tossed the offending food and chalked it up to O. Well and his friends G. Whiz and G. Willikers?

Can this guy make a speech or what!

2008-02-27T10:18:00.002+09:00

Normally, I am apolitical, but this year's U.S. Elections are actually interesting for the first time in my adult life; an African-American, a woman, and a war hero making up the practical set of choices....and they ARE real choices. For the first time, I don't feel like I HAVE to choose the lesser of two evils. There are several good choices. I believe that ultimately it will come down to Obama and McCain and that is just fine with me. As a card-carrying fencerider, I am still giving both candidates a fair shot at my vote. That said, I recently came across "The Yes We Can Song" and thought I would share it with my readers. It is a political message, of course, and it is full of some familliar faces from music and Hollywood. It is based on a truly inspiring speech by Senator Obama. Although, I'm not naive enough to just allow an inspiring speech to take my vote from me since I prefer to look at the issues and the person as well as the candidate but if I voted tomorrow, he would probably get my vote because, like so many Americans, I want change, too. McCain is a good man and would undoubtedly be as good a president as Obama could, but he still hasn't inspired me like this. I'm waiting.

Korean Food: Keeping up with the Neighbors

2008-02-07T00:18:00.000+09:00

A recent editorial article in the Chosun Ilbo English Edition asks the not so rhetorical question of how Korean cuisine can compete in the world.

A country's cuisine boosts exports of its agricultural products and improves itsnational image. That's why different countries are competing to spread their cuisine around the world according to a strategic game plan. Japan hasestablished a committee that oversees research into new variations of its cuisine, seeking to raise the number of global fans of Japanese food from 600 million now to 1.2 billion by 2010 by pursuing various globalization projects. Italy opened a culinary institute for foreigners and adopted a system of certifying and endorsing Italian restaurants around the world. Since the 1990s, Thailand has been pursuing a "Global Thai Restaurant" project that promotes adherence to preparation standards for Thai cuisine, trains foreigners as chefs and supports Thai restaurants abroad.

I did a search for information in English about universities, colleges or even private institutes that teach Korean cooking and all I could come up with was a few classes or special offerings on how to make Kimchi. I know that there are some fine culinary science departments in some universities out there. Unfortunately, there really isn’t anything out there on studying the rich food culture and cuisine of Korea and that is a crying shame because, on a personal level, I know that I have discovered a great deal during my 12 years in Korea. I almost feel that I could open a Korean restaurant of my own except that I don’t have any formal training. What I know, I have learned from my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and the flow of information from them seems never ending. What can be done to REALLY bring Korean cuisine to the rest of the world? More from the Chosun:

Only this year is the Korean government finally launching a program to investW78 billion (US$1=W943) by 2011 in an effort to develop Korean cuisine so it can rank among the top-rated cuisines around the world. It's time for the government, civilians and businesses to pool their efforts to spread Korean cuisine globally. If this does not happen, then Korean cuisine may disappear overseas without ever having the chance to take root.

Better late than never, I guess; Alrighty then, here’s my 2-cents on the subject and some of it is emphasized in the article. The government should use some of that money they plan to spend to do the following:

Open up a National Culinary Institute and make the faculty come from some of the best known restaurants from all over Korea. Have the courses all taught in English (yes, I see the problem here but keep reading anyway)
Bring over some willing participants from all over the world (and those with English ability from within Korea) to engage in some serious study on the subject. Scholarship potential chefs from all over the world to come and study so they can bring ‘real’ Korean cuisine to the rest of the world.
Create an award system for some of the most common Korean seasonings and allow outstanding companies to have ‘excellence branding’ in much the same way that Thai Government has done by labeling certain products with awards for excellence.
Create a government fund that will subsidize the creation of ‘real’ Korean restaurants and restaurant chains around the world. Offer this funding ONLY to those who have graduated with honors from the National Culinary Institute.

Korean food is delicious and healthful and deserves to surpass the popularity of other Asian cuisines. I would agree that more aggressive action by the Korean government and private enterprise is needed. A lot of trash gets talked about Korea on the Korean Blogosphere but the one thing about Korea that I have rarely heard bad-mouthing is the subject of Korean food. As for me, if I had to choose between exporting Korean cars or Korean food…keep the Ssangyong, pass the ssamjang.

Weekly G-Spot 5: Demystifying your age

2008-01-23T10:37:00.000+09:00

Sorry to my 1 or 2 regular readers who missed the G-Spot for the last couple of weeks. Vacation time always makes it harder to come into the office.

This weeks G-spot is not so much a grammar moment, it is a moment to reflect on an aspect of culture that creates great confusion between Koreans and Non-Koreans; the answer to the question: "How old are you?"

I have often said that if I could teach one thing to every Korean who ever learned English it would be this:

When someone asks you your age in English; answer with the English standard. When someone asks you your age in Korean, answer with the Korean standard.

Since I have lived in Korea, the question of age has always plagued me. Rather than being able to ask a simple question, I have to ask at least two questions to find out how old someone really is. Koreans count their age at birth as '1 year' and move up to '2 years' at the next Lunar New Year. So, it is possible that in this year (2008) a child born on 6 February would be 2 years old on 7 February of the same year and would rise to 3 years on the following Lunar New Year's day. For most people the disparity is not this severe but the fact that you age is likely to be 1 to 2 years different can cause several problems.

The issue of age in Western culture is important at certain times of one's life and there are times when knowing a person's exact age is very important. For example, at the age of 18, we are considered adults and, among other things, are allowed to vote in most places. But NOT if election day falls before our 18th birthday. When we turn 21, we are allowed to drink alcohol legally. But not at 11pm on the night before our 21st birthday. Everyone's birthday is a very important day because it signifies the changing of your age. For Koreans, everyone changes their age on the same date; Lunar New Year's Day. So everyone in the same grade is the same age most of the time. A 'Chingu' or friend can only be someone who is the same age. Birthdays, while still celebrated, do not carry the same significance as they do in western culture (they even put the wrong number of candles on the cake!). But age is still very important to everyday life and most Koreans can tell you their age....or can they?

When I ask someone in English, "How old are you?" The normal response would be "I am XX years old." I would know someone's age in years. However, when I ask a Korean the same question, it must be followed by "Is that Korean age or 'western' age?" or "Is that in Korean years or 'real' years ?" (If I want to be a bit of a smart ass). Because you can never really know if a Korean speaker of English will respond with their 'correct' age or not.

So, how do we avoid this problem? We really can't. Probably, we will continue to wrestle with the question of 'age' when speaking with Koreans in Korea. However, what about Koreans living in America? How do they answer the question of age when they speak English?what about when they speak Korean?

What makes sense is to answer according to the culture of the language. If someone ask my daughter in Korean? "Myeot Sal e ay yo?" She would answer, "Yeoseot Sal imnida" but if someone asked her in English the same question. "How old are you?" then you would answer "I'm 5 years old." It works for my 5 year old (6살) daughter and myself, it can work for you to.

But it can be confusing for Koreans to tell their age in English. Many do not think about their age in English and will answer it quickly by translating the number rather than taking the time to think about the month they were born. There is a simple way to calculate your age in English that works for most people (those whose birthdays fall between New Years Day and Lunar New Year's Day may have some calculation troubles for a few days out of a year). You only need to know if your birthday has passed for the current calendar year and assume your 'Korean age' changed on January 1st (many Koreans do this anyway.) Just think:

Did have my birthday this year?
If YES, then subtract 1 year from your Korean age and say that number for your 'age.'
If No, then subtract 2 years from your Korean age and say that number for your 'age.'

As a disclaimer, I mention again. The calculation seems to be a bit more confusing if you are calculating the answer between Jan 1 and Lunar New Year's Day (late Jan-early Feb) for a person who was born around the same time of year. But this method seems to work for most of my students who can easily calculate their true 'age' using this method. Any comments or suggestions are welcome.

A WTF moment to share

2008-01-14T12:16:00.000+09:00

I was at Costco purchacing the months supply of beef, chicken, scorched rice and a few sundry other items totalling about 120,000. I gleefully placed my items on the checkout counter and after the woman checked them out I gave her my credit card and said (in Korean),
"12 months, please."
"12 months!!!" she replied looking at me like I must have lost my mind.
"Is that strange to you?" again I repied in polite Korean.
"Yes. There will be a lot of interest." she said, still holding my card at the top of the swiper gadget and now having attracted the attention of most of the other 100 or so people in the adjacent checkout lines. As if, I didn't know this.
"That's what the customer wants, just do it." This response was NOT in the polite form. She swiped it, gave me the card and the slip with a smirk that thouroughly deserved to be smacked to the back of her head. I signed, took my card and grumbled off to take my 20 minute escalator ride to the roof parking lot.
Granted that it may not be the best decision to put groceries on 12 months payments; that was not exactly my decision either (wife's); but who was SHE to question it.

Woori Bank Credit Cards

2008-01-14T11:40:00.000+09:00

I have had a considerable amount of experience with credit and banking in Korea (most of it inconvenient or downright unbearable) Now, A recent article in Korea Beat about the inconvenience that foreigners experience living in Korea reminded me of a recent experience I had with Woori Bank.

A man came into my office and explained to me about a credit card that was somehow associated with the Private Pension company and Woori bank. I listened attentively to the deal and decided that it was a pretty good deal. Having been assured by the gentleman that he was an official of the bank and he was sure that there would be no problem for a foreign professor to get a card, I decided to fill out the application.

I waited the standard 10 to 14 days to receive my card in time to make more Christmas debt but it never came. I called the man and he said that there were a "lot of applications" and could I please wait a little longer. Two more weeks passed and still nothing. I called the man again and he suggested me to call the banks customer service center. After getting my wife to help me wade through the phone messaging system (Anyone else notice that there is often NO way to push a number to speak to an actual person?) we spoke to a woman who said that my application had been denied because I have an E-2 Visa and only E-1, F (and a few other) visa holders could get them. We tried to explain that the copy of my ID that the gentleman who came to my office made was incomplete. I actually have an F-2 visa and have for 2 years, but that fact was written on the back of the card and now is almost illegible because it was written on the back of the plastic card with a 'permanent' marker. She basically said that it didn't matter because the application was received with THAT copy and I could not get the card. I was uncerimoniously denied and not only given NO notice of the fact, but denied for illegitmate reasons.

The man came to MY office and I applied for the card but got denied because immigration doesn't have the good sense to make permanent amendments to the alien card. The bank doesn't have the good sense to call me. They could't tell me that I was denied OR why I was denied or to even ask me why my registration card says that my E-2 visa expired 3 years ago but I still, obviously, hold a position at a local college.

On a good note for foreigners in Korea, both KEB and Lotte card have English speaking staff that are very helpful and they will accept applications from foreigners with good jobs (not an unreasonable request). I have also spoken to someone in English at Samsung card (which is very useful if you shop at Costco as it is the only card they accept) but it was a bit of a labor to get through. KEB will also extend private unsecured loans for foreigners with good bank relationships and the usual proof of solvency (you usually need to speak to the branch manager as you will undoubtedly be denied by the peons at the counter). The problem with credit for foreigners in Korea, also mentioned in the Korea beat article, is due to the lack of a proper ID number (that is a KOREAN ID number). Korean credit reporting company keeps no records of foreigners in Korea. So, even if you have a 10 year history of credit card usage and loans, there is no way for the bank to check your references. If they did, it would be a lot easier for foreigners to get loans at global minded institutions like KEB.

Hall of Shame: I have been outright DENIED even applying for a credit card from LG (TWICE) and BC card (multiple times). I had a Kookmin card but stopped using it because it was too much of a pain in the tush to get it renewed when it expired. When I applied again, I was denied. I also had to get my loan for my house in my wife's name because of the same kind of problems mentioned in the Korea Beat article. The rule of thumb when trying to get credit in Korea is to be persistent and have a willing translator by your side when you make the calls to the customer service numbers. I have made calls, written nasty letters, posted to bulletin boards and basically harrassed bank minions into going beyond their programmed "I'm sorry but that's impossible" and changing it to the more correct "I'm sorry, I really didn't know what the hell I was talking about" because they never had this experience before and it was easier to say 'no' and hope you go away and leave them to their uncomplicated existence.

Say it ain't so, Nomad!!

2008-01-07T20:21:00.001+09:00

First Asia Pages and now this!!!...An icon of the Korean Blogosphere, Lost Nomad, has thrown in the blogging towel. He is abandoning us to get in some more fishing (and maybe spend some time with his family too:)....oh wait... or was that the other way around...:)
Well, you will be sorely missed. I do hope you will pop in and let us know how you are doing via a comment or two here and there. Happy Angling.

I leave you with one of my favorite fishin tunes:

Brad Paisley - I'm Gonna Miss Her
Video sent by Okdude81

Brad Paisley - I'm Gonna Miss Her

Weekly G-Spot 4: It's Election Season

2007-12-20T10:49:00.000+09:00

In the spirit of the season....let's discuss the word elect:

Elect is a usually a verb that means to choose someone by voting. However it can be used as an adjective:

Yesterday, we elected a president. However, until he is actually installed as the president, he is referred to as the 'president elect.' Meaning that he has been elected by the people but has not yet begun to perform his duties. We can use this for other political positions such as governor, mayor, and senator.

Be careful because we usually do not use 'elect' in front of a noun (like most other adjectives) to talk about someone who has been elected to a post by voting. Instead, the usual adjective form is 'elected.' MuHyun Roh is the elected president until MyungBak Lee, the president elect, takes office.

One final note, a person who is chosen in some other way than actual voting is not 'elected.' We have other words like chosen, picked, and selected for other methods.

Fly the friendlyhalf-nekkid skies

2007-12-13T09:49:00.000+09:00

I don't know about the rest of the blogging community in Korea (which I know to be predominantly male) but I'm seriously considering taking a trip on Ryanair (wherever they go).

These feminist groups can call me a sexist, chauvenist, misanthrope or whatever they like. Whether you are male or female, eyes need love too. Besides, its for a good cause....what more reason do you need?

Hattip to Nomad for sending me to the vodka-swilling passenger where I found this link.

Weekly G-Spot 3: Partitives

2007-12-12T10:25:00.000+09:00

A student once commented to me that although he could easily understand and use singular and plural very well, the use of partitives (words used to refer to a group of something) was a frequent consternation. Hosts of students of English have marveled as the battery of vocabulary memorization necessary to properly learn how to refer to things in groups. So, I dedicate this G-Spot to partitives.

To form a partitive we use the word 'of' plus the plural form of the object to which we are referring. Certain words are commonly used to refer to a variety of things or groups of people and while this is by no means a comprehensive list, it does offer some options that can be used.

Assortment
Batch
Battery
Cluster
Collection
Crop
Group
Host
Selection
Set
Variety

For amorphous Groups of people you can use the following:

Army
Band
Crowd
Gathering
Horde
Knot
Party
Swarm
Throng

If the group of people or things have a certain shape then the following can be used. In general, these words make sense because the word used represents the shape or position of the objects:

Circle or Ring - refers to a group of things or people that form a circle or similar shape
Jumble, Scatter, Scattering - refer more to the lack of shape in the group
Sprinkling - would look like a bunch of nuts dropped on a table with no certain pattern.
Pile, Heap, Mound, Mountain - refer to how things are gathered in a representative shape.
Column, Row, String, Stacking, Line - suggests the way in which things appear to be ordered.

If groups of people or things have some kind of movement or if they occur with a certain frequency then the following can be used:

Hail, Barrage, Shower - suggest things coming from above or possibly being thrown.
Flood, Stream, Tide - normally refer to water but with groups they suggest a fluid movement of the objects or people.
Rash, Spate - something that happens suddenly and in large numbers.
Series - something that happens with some regularity
Volley - might suggest a short but controlled 'bombardment' of something (a volley of gunfire)

Perhaps the most diabolical group of partitives comes when discussing animals. Most animals have an appropriate partitive that is 'correct' however most can be referred to as "a group of _____" if you lack the vocabulary and in truth most native speakers would only be able to name about half of the following so don't stress about it too much:

an army of ants
a swarm of bees
a flock/flight of birds
a herd of cattle, deer, elephants
a litter of cubs, puppies, kittens
a school of dolphins, (fish)
a shoal of fish (not common)
a pack of hounds, wolves
a flock of sheep
a troop of monkeys
a gaggle of geese
a swarm/colony of insects
a pride of lions
a gaggle of geese
a murder of crows
a parliament of owls

(for more on birds, which are perhaps the most difficult, look here)

Some other notables for objects besides animals that you might see often:

a company of actors
a troup of actors
a wad/roll of banknotes
a fleet of ships
an army of volunteers
a gang/band/pack of theives
a flight of steps/stairs
a bunch/cluster of grapes/bananas
a bouquet/bunch of flowers
a squadron of fighter planes
a team/panel of experts

(source:Collins Cobuild "English Usage" Dictionary)

It should be noted that certain words do have 'connotations' or 'nuances' that would make them impractical in some situations and poingant in others, for example:

An army of nuns entered the church in supplicant prayer. - would seem to suggest to the reader that they are somehow organized and might even imply that they are somehow angry or militant; a situation that might seem comical to the reader in the context of 'supplicant prayer.'

on the other hand:

The professor had a mountain of papers to grade and a hoard of students waiting outside his door to hear about their final grades. - Uses a couple of descriptive partitives that not only suggest to the reader the scene but perhaps the feeling and even a certain urgency.

This is stylistic usage that usually comes from years of reading and/or writing literature.

For the illiterate, hard-of-hearing, and hole-dwellers

2007-12-12T10:07:00.000+09:00

How many ways does it need to be said? Korean students can't speak English. Another bit of brilliant reporting from KT.

Almost half of Korean undergraduates have difficulty speaking English, according
to a recent survey of 1,041 students at a local university, conducted by
``Incruit,'' an online recruiting-specialized company.
About 40 percent responded that they understood English when it was spoken quite slowly, while 11.9 percent said it was impossible to communicate in English. About 39 percent said they can speak English but not fluently, while just 1.8 percent said they
can speak English fluently.
``With companies giving more weight to English speaking proficiency in recruiting procedures, job seekers including undergraduates should focus their English practice on improving their speaking ability,'' said Lee Kwang-suk, chief administrator of Incruit.

OK, one more time for the cheap seats: KOREAN STUDENTS CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH! (generally speaking, of course) Despite having studied it for 10 years, they can listen well if it is spoken slowly but they cannot speak it. For those of us in tertiary education, it is an everyday conundrum; many students have been taught with so much emphasis on written tests and wrote learning that trying to introduce new ways of learning into the system is often an exercise fit more for a dentist than a teacher.

As for the survey....dubious at best. Taking a survey at only one university definately skews the numbers. The numbers would be MUCH higher in certain parts of the country and a little lower in certain high ranking universities. The name and location of the university is not mentioned in the article and that leaves me with a suspicion that the survey may have been conducted in Seoul. A more useful survey would poll students from universities and colleges (and different tier schools as well) from across the country. THEN we could accuratly portray the situation. Quite frankly, from where I sit, its much worse than than the article suggests.

I wonder?

2007-12-10T21:46:00.001+09:00

I feel really bad for the folks on the west coast who have likely lost their livelihoods for several years before it will be able to recover. But I can't help but wonder in the face of this adversity, how long will it be before these wind up in your local supermarket...cleaned up and marked down of course.

Seafood just got a lot more expensive.

How the Korean Media Works

2007-12-10T18:59:00.000+09:00

I've been sitting on this one a while but a recent "rant" by the Metropolitician just reminded me of how the Korean media lacks any sense of journalistic integrity. So, I must relate a story of something that happened to me a few months back:

On 11 Jul 2007, I was asked to participate in a taping for ?????? (I want to....sooooo bad I want to say the name but I don't want to wind up in the same boat as ZenKimchi was last year.) A Ms. Kwon (가명?) called my wife to ask if I would be willing to participate. She spoke to my wife to insure proper understanding of the issue (my wife is Korean). I was asked to help "verify" the abilities of a man in Daegu who had taken the TOEIC 14 times with a perfect score. Though I asked more than once and received an indeterminate email, the details of the “interview” were kept cryptic. Prior to my arrival, as any professional would, I prepared. I prepared a brief test of spoken English to verify that his speaking ability was on par with his test taking ability.
When I arrived, much to my chagrin, I was asked to take a 20-question head-to-head TOEIC-type test with this man for the sake of showing his ‘amazing test taking speed.’ I refused to participate in such a ridiculous display, the purpose of which is dubious at best and potentially embarassing. Teachers make tests, they don’t take them and such a test of speed has absolutely no educational or practical value and could leave the unwitting viewer with the impression that somehow speed has to do with ability. Does it seem reasonable that a college professor would be asked to do such a thing on national television? On top of it all, imagine my surprise when I arrived and learned that the man was an American citizen “Kyopo” being passed off as someone with an amazing ability. Yes, he was an exceptionally fast test taker (another reason I would not test against him) but the fact that he is a native speaker is a fact that was amiss in the final cut of the program and was never mentioned before I agreed to participate. I am sure the audience would find this omission distasteful.
Not wishing to have wasted my time, the PD/cameraman, the "Korean" man and I decided to try and film something closer to what I was told to expect. In hopes that they might use some of the footage. However, Friday July 13, 2007 when the show aired, none of the footage was used in the feature. I was not advised in advance that none of the footage would be used. In order to make the taping, I cancelled appointments and wasted an afternoon preparing for nothing except to waste my valuable time. I agreed to participate gratis because I thought there might be residual benefits from being seen on TV as 'the expert.' Family and colleagues were advised prior to the taping that I would be on the show. Imagine my embarrassment when I saw no sign of the time spent.

Needless to say, I was miffed. Enough so that I sent a bill for services rendered to the producer who lied to me in the first place (expecting to receive the exact same nothing that I did). I also learned that a Korean professor from a local college was asked to participate. After being told what he would be doing, he refused. I guess the PD had in mind something that she wanted to portray and the facts of the case were just totally unimportant. And the more I read stories like the aforementioned from the Metropolitician, the more I realize that there is little or no journalistic integrity in the Korean media.

The Weekly G-Spot 2: THE definite article

2007-12-06T12:56:00.000+09:00

Last week the subject was the indefinite article a/an. This week, the author of the View from the Fence thinks that the definite article deserves the attention of the weekly G-Spot.

It is THE most used word in the English language and it is perhaps the most elusive point for many a language learner. In its most basic form, "The" is used before a noun (or noun group) that refers to something that the speaker (writer) and the listener (reader) both have knowledge of; either because it is common knowledge (like "the sun" or "the moon") or because it has already been mentioned.

When 'the' is misused, as it often is by not only Korean learners but learners from the many languages that do not use articles, it can drastically change the meaning of a sentence or confuse the listener. For example:

"I like to read the book" - suggests that in the world, there is only ONE book and I am talking about that one....I assume that you know that book too.

This of course, really makes no sense but it does have meaning. If perhaps, the word 'the' were capitalized along with book (The Book) it might suggest a particular religious text like The Bible or The Koran. But in such a case, the listener and speaker would both have the schemata necessary to understand which book.

Another way that 'the' is used is when we are talking about a countable noun in singular form and we want to refer to the item in a general or 'global' way. For example:

"The computer has change the world." Makes use of two definite articles. The first one refers to all computers or computers in general. The second refers to something that is known to everyone on earth...the world
If you were talking to Luke Skywalker standing on Tatooine, for example, you shouldn't say, "Luke, Look at the moon!" because he would probably reply,
"Which one." since Tatooine has multiple satellites.
You might even have a difficult time saying something like, "Computers have changed the world." because he would probably respond,
"which one?" or "don't you mean the universe?"

A common mistake for Korean students is the use of the definite article in front of the names of places.
"I come from the Daegu" is one that I hear A LOT!
There are situations where 'the' can be used in front of the names of places.
1. When the name of the city is used as an adjective in front of another noun; like in the name of an organization like: The Daegu Metropolitian Opera.
2. In front of the names of groups of islands like The Maldives, The Phillipines, or The Seychelles.

A couple of other special rules:
1. The use of 'the' in front of the names of musical instruments is optional. "I play piano." and "I play the piano" are the same.
2. Do NOT use 'the' between a preposition and any of the following: home, college, hospital, prison, school, university, or church. (but there are exceptions to this as well. Don't you just LOVE the diabolical nature of English?)
3. Do NOT use 'the' with the names of meals: breakfast, lunch, dinner.
4. Use 'the' with superlatives: "VFT is the greatest blog in the world!!"
5. Systems or services use 'the.' The bus, the train, the subway, the electricity. But again, these are things that the listener should 'know' about.

There are SOOOO many rules (and exceptions to those rules) about the use of definite articles and learning them all and trying to apply them in common conversation is an act of futility. Native speaker and those who learn to speak English fluently learn to use the articles without thinking about them.

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is 'the' refers to something known to your interlocutor.

My How times have changed: Dasepo Naughty Girls

2007-12-03T19:19:00.001+09:00

There was a VERY good read over at Gusts of Popular Feeling on a movie called Dasepo Naughty Girls (at least it was mostly about that with a tangent or two) and it just gave me some inspiration for a couple of Korea long-timer anecdotes on the subject of Sex and the Media in Korea.

First, I came to Korea in April of 1996. At that time, I recall seeing some Korean dramas and wondering why every time the lovers would come close to kissing, the scene would change or fade to a commercial. I asked my director (I was one of the few who actually made friends with my hagwon owner) and he said that it was 'against the law' in Korea to show people kissing on television. I also recall that a certain drama featuring two married people who were in an intimate relationship that involved NO PHYSICAL CONTACT yet the scandal over this drama was all over the place because the two people were in dissatisfying marriages and decided to (as my director succinctly put it) "share their minds." Needless to say, after growing up coming home to my mother watching "Days of Our Lives" or "General Hospital" I was dumbfounded at what I perceived to be a puritanical society. Of course, I was out in the country and my exposure to the sexual underbelly of Korea was limited but it was obvious that the average Cho Blow was pretty up in arms about it. Nowadays, on both the big and small screen it seems that a lot of these barriers gone well beyond destruction and can scarcely be remembered.

Second story, About 4 years ago, I was teaching a couple of middle school boys and the subject somehow wound up on a picture that one of their classmates had shown them of his sister in the shower (apparently without her knowledge either that the picture had been taken or that it had been distributed). And I recall being disturbed because a middle school student not only had a phone (which back then was not as common as it is today) but had used it for such a sinister purpose. Now, after reading the aforementioned article, that seems to pale in comparison to the way the cellphones are being used today to film things that only a few years ago would have been shocking beyond all comprehension.

Are you worried about offending our Korean hosts' cultural idiosyncracies?

2007-11-30T22:18:00.000+09:00

It could be MUCH worse.
A British woman teaching in Sudan is facing cries for her excecution for a cultural snafu. Though it is more likely that she will be held in prison for 15 days (more for her safety than anything else) and then deported (again for her own safety). What did she do? She allowed the children in her class to name a class bear that was part of a school project after a popular student in the class.
What's wrong with that, you ask? Well, that child's name happened to be Muhammed. And in a predominantly Muslim country under Sharia Law that is evidently a big no-no. It doesn't matter that it was the kids who named the bear OR that a child in the class has the same name. The teacher is responsible according to a large number of protesters; some bearing knives, pipes and clubs, that were gathered outside the prison where she is being kept and calling for her to be excecuted by firing squad.
This is just another case of radical Islam hijacking the religion for their own twisted agenda. They want to say how this infidel intentionally named an animal/toy after the prophet Muhammed when all she did was name it after a child who coincidentally had the same name at the request of the class. Lack of cultural sensitivity aside: she is not Muslim, how could she be expected to know the ramifications of such an innocent act and what do these radicals think that the prophet Muhammed would wish to do with this person. The real wonder is why would a co-worker decide to turn her in for it.
Of course, we do not know the real intentions of this woman. Perhaps, she really did do it on purpose and this other excuse is just a way to pull one over on the Sudanese authorities. Either way, does it really justify calls for excecution?

One thing we can certainly say about our Korean hosts: for all the faults we like to try and pin on them (justified or not). It could be much worse.

Weekly G-Spot 1: Unraveling A and An

2007-11-28T10:11:00.001+09:00

I decided to start a series of posts in the English vein. Each week, I am introducing the "weekly G-Spot" That is Grammar Spot (got you to look though didn't it). Partly as an exercise to keep myself fresh in it and partly as a help to some of my more dilligent students who are reading my blog. For the expatriate crowd: don't be afraid to read the G-Spot because there is a good chance you will learn something about English you might not have known otherwise. Or a way to explain something to someone that you didn't think of before. I'll try to keep in interesting for all. Please remember that I am NOT a grammarian and do not claim to know everything about the English language so take this information for what it is worth to you. Also, if you find that you would like to see something in particular focused on here, please leave me a comment and I will try to get to it when I can.
Cheers, fencerider.

This week's G-Spot: Unraveling A and An
Probably one of the most elusive aspects of English for anyone seeking to learn it as a second language is the proper use of 'a' and 'an' (indefinite articles). Here are the basic rules

1. Use a or an the first time you mention a person or thing in a conversation.

2. After you have mentioned it once, it becomes known to the interlocutor, you can then begin using 'the' to refer to the same person or thing.
A war is being fought in Iraq. The war had dragged on for several years.

3. They may only be used with singular countable nouns.
4. If you use an adjective with the person or thing, place the indefinite article before the adjective(s).
I drive an ugly, old, beat up Carnival.
5. If a thing is not singular (that is, if it is non-countable) then you should NOT use any article.
My favorite food is an Italian food.

What do 'a' and 'an' mean?
There are two ways I use to explain it. First, it is called an 'indefinite article.' Since 'indefinite' means 'not sure' we can say that it is used with something that the listener does not know about (until it is mentioned). Second, I find an easy way to explain the meaning of the indefinite article in context is 'one of many.' That is, in the universe there are many of this particular item, I am speaking (or writing) of only one of them.

When to use 'a' or 'an'?
If the following word's first sound is a consonant...use 'a'. If the following words first sound is a vowel...use 'an.' An important note her is that the letter is not as important as the sound as evidenced by words like 'uniform' which begins with a vowel but the sound of that vowel is /yu/ and the presence of the 'y' sound makes it a consonant (a uniform). The same applies for the use of an article in front of a silent letter like 'h' in 'honest' (an honest man).

Exceptions:
1. a is also sometimes used to mean 'one' when used with numbers, fractions or measurments.
Then, add a half teaspoon of molasses.

Here's a link to a quiz on indefinite articles from the Internet TESL Journal

Wrongly Accused Blogger: Metropolitician joins the list

2007-11-21T10:59:00.000+09:00

First it was ZenKimchi getting accused of things he didn't do and getting dragged through the inJustice system, now the Metropolitician is dragged into the quagmire. It reads like something out of a Stephen King short story...a true nightmare. Basically, minding his own business and he gets verbally and odiferously assaulted by a drunk adjussi and then when he calls the police to get the guy to quit bothering him....HE GETS ARRESTED because the drunk off his kiester Korean guy said that the M kicked him and left a bruise. M has been printed and booked and I would assume is in need of some legal counsel (though he did not specifically appeal for it on his blog).

Now, I'm not one for sticking up for someone when I don't hear both sides of the story, so if you understand Korean, you can hear the real B.S. in a recorded conversation with the mephitic sot. There are some real dire consequences if this conviction sticks so I certainly hope he can beat this wrap totally. Unfortunately, the ill-smelling inebriate does not appear to have any money and therefore can't be sued for the likely financial damage that M will need to keep it off his record.

My advice, M...get legal counsel now! Contact anyone you might know or who might know someone who is a high ranking police officer to try and help you take care of this before it gets out of hand.

Why the Anti-Discrimination Law Must be Amended.

2007-11-19T20:35:00.000+09:00

From the time I heard that the Korean Government was going to pass “Anti-Discrimination” Legislation I was skeptical; if not hopeful. How could a society such as this with such deep-rooted biases against even its own ever hope to pass legislation that would somehow protect those who need it most? Of course, my reasons for hoping for the passing of this bill were somewhat selfish. As a foreigner trying to raise a family in Korea I am keenly aware of the ways in which such a law could make life easier for me and mine.
But since I have been in Korea for a long time, I think I can sort of ‘step outside of myself’ a bit and challenge myself to find reasons why the government would choose to delete the 7 contentious items from the bill. It is said, to really understand someone you must walk a mile in their shoes. So, I am taking a moment to really try and understand, item by item, why it is necessary to remove these items from the Korean perspective. Prof. Gill Wonpyeong’s wise words (albeit something may have been lost in translation) have given me the necessary mindset from which to spew forth:

Family type –
Because it is important that we make sure that the people that we work for are only the most moral of people. We should not be forced to hire someone, regardless of their qualifications, if they are estranged from their spouse. It does not matter if a woman’s husband cheated on her and left her with 3 kids to feed, it must be her fault in some way and society must punish her for that by making it difficult for her to work a decent job with other decent people. This is particularly important in a society reaching a 35% divorce rate. In addition, we certainly don’t want to have to work with someone who comes from a broken family because we know that if someone comes from a family like that they must be messed up, crazy or both, regardless of their qualifications.

Nation of Origin
Businesses don’t want to pass this one possibly because they know that the ramifications would be far reaching in the area of employment. Employers would no longer be able to pay people differently based on the color of their skin….this would force many businesses to shut down because they simply could not afford to pay their workers. This can’t pass because that would mean that we would have to actually pay out a little more of our profits to those dirty-looking ASEANs. We have to keep their wages low to make sure that they will want to return to their home countries with the thanks that they were able to work in such a profitable environment. Never mind that they lost their right hand due to lack of a safe working environment. They should be glad that we gave them a chance to earn more money in a month than they could in a year in their own country. Also, we wouldn’t want to actually pay them enough money that they could live in the same neighborhoods and send their mongrel children to school with our own children.

Language
I didn’t originally know that this would be included in the bill. If I had, I would have known right then and there that there is NO WAY IN HELL that we can allow this because we have to maintain the purity of our 5000 year language and its 400 year old script that is the most scientifically logical and greatest invention of the most auspicious king that ever lived. And we certainly can’t have foreigners demanding that they be made aware of their rights in the law in their own languages. That would make it impossible to railroad them into confessing and making sure that the bloated statistics that we feed to the newspapers about foreign crime on the rise are kept accurate. Of course, we must maintain our linguistic superiority at all costs.

Sexual Orientation
Prof. Gill may have neglected to mention a few important points in this regard. This item cannot stand because we certainly wouldn’t want to have to actually accept the fact that there are homosexuals in our society. We must make sure they stay in the closet. After all, if they were allowed to come out of the closet freely how terrible that would be for all people. How could we continue to work side by side with someone knowing that they might be after our ass after working together for 10 years? How would we even be able to enter the bathroom for fear that we might be raped by one of these animals? Of course, the women homosexuals should be protected because of the benefit they provide for the lonely working man’s need for a little girl-on-girl action. Unfortunately, if we allow that then we would also have to reciprocate and that would be disgusting. So we just have to keep it all in the closet.

Medical History
This is related to Sexual Orientation because there is a need to discriminate against those who are HIV positive. We must make sure that they die quickly, and alone and penniless, without taxing our medical system. We must also insure that those who have some history of even the most treatable of mental illness should be kept away from the workplaces. How can we work with peace of mind knowing that the person next to us might be transferring their neurosis to us through some sort of evil mind control?

Educational Status
This one is a little hard to understand. Why put this in there at all. Educational discrimination is the backbone of Korean politics. How else would you get to know the people you need to know unless you went to the same school? Passing this portion of the bill would mean the end of discrimination based on the school you attended and everyone knows that it would be bad for society if we couldn’t make sure that we all worked with people of similar caste.

Criminal Record –
Because regardless of the fact that someone has paid their debt to society, everyone should be able to feel free to make sure that this person returns to exactly the same place in society that they came from. We have to prove our theories of ‘once a thief, always a thief’ by forcing them into such destitution that their only resort is crime and then we can put them away for life.
There is also the problem that when the head of a family commits a crime, his or her family census register shows the crime and even a grandson of a living criminal should be forced to work in only the most menial of jobs, regardless of his skill or education because he must be made to pay for the sins of his patronage.

Finally, if this bill were to pass unaltered, the litigation would be endless. Koreans cannot be expected to just change their system of discrimination and bias that has existed for five thousand years. Korea really doesn’t want to become a global society. It would just be too much work. Anti-Discrimination is not in line with a number of the most basic tenants of Korean Society. For Koreans, it is natural to discriminate and examples of this train of thought are found in daily life. So, why bother to change it.

Note to the hopelessly stupid (and Prof. Gill, just in case he is more confused than I think he is): The previous was intended to be sarcasm.

Dancing Flight Attendants

2007-11-16T11:40:00.000+09:00

UPDATE: Evidently, someone either took offence or the girls just decided to take it off line because the video has been removed. Hope you caught it while it was still on. Its a little funny because there was some discussion about putting a higher quality video online in a hurry but I guess that never materialized.

Ok...this is just TOO good not to write about. There was some discussion on another blog (can't find it now) about the song "Tell Me" by the Wondergirls. Most of it centered around the fact that it made several people want to jump out of a window or made their skin crawl from watching the gyrations of 14 year old girls. Now, if you haven't heard this song yet then you must have been under a rock somewhere because even if you don't like Korean pop your students are probably singing it in the hallways along with the taxi and bus drivers and the ajummas in the market.

So, for those of you who refuse the video due to its parasitic qualities, some of my students in the Stewardess Training Department at my school just made a rather entertaining UCC video of themselves dancing to the song. I have the 'from-the-horses-mouth' scoop: evidently, some girls were messing around in their stewardess uniforms and one made a video and uploaded it to the Internet without telling the others. It has, as of this morning, more than 100,000 hits and rising. It is currently the most popular video on several of the search engines in Korea (search: 스튜어대스 텔미).
The young lady in the front of the group is a student of mine who takes a special early morning conversation class. She came in looking all depressed today because of the uploaded video. She just didn't want all the attention and had no idea that it would be uploaded. (I know, I had my doubts about the veracity of that at first. But after an extended discussion, I believe she honestly didn't know). At any rate, they are now talking about making a higher quality video to supplement the already popular download. I am still waiting for the real stuff to hit the fan as the day progresses. (updates to follow if any)
There appears to be two sides of the issue. Several netizens posted disparaging comments about the girls (Don't you hate trolls) and of course, as anyone would be, they are upset about some of them. There is some concern that the image presented in the video is not an 'appropriate' flight attendant image and could wind up hurting the image of the school.

I have to disagree, personally, I believe that it is perfect timing (almost too perfect) to attract attention to the school at a time when young high school stewardess-wannabes are deciding which of the few colleges and universities offering a training program they will attend. The girls were just having a good time before class and the roughness of the timing of some of the steps makes it pretty obvious that it was impromptu. There is nothing inappropriate about it and anyone who says differently is just a cantankerous, curmudgeonly old gasbag. I think its entertaining, I also think that the girls involved should receive kudos and maybe even a scholarship from the school for the free advertising and profile/image boost.
link is here

Got Blacklisted?? Get Even!!

2007-11-14T10:56:00.001+09:00

There has been a discussion recently on the Koreabridge Korea Job Advice Forums about a blacklist that has been posted by the Korean Foreign Teacher Recruiting Association. This is a list of foreign teachers who for some reason have been deemed unworthy to get a job in Korea. The site is entirely in Korean and there does not appear to be any method for teachers to offer a rebuttal for what they have been accused. Teachers are listed by their full name, gender and country of origin. In the entries they even put their Alien Registration Card Number AND their passport number along with other personal information and their 'offence.' Attempts to have explanations or rebuttals added or to have names removed have seemingly been met with silence.
One teacher who felt wrongly accused and added to the list contacted the Job Advice Forum and was given several suggestions for places to go for help. The poster finally decided to go to the Seoul (Korean) Bar Association where they received help in English and a lawyer who was evidently gung-ho to prosecute the case. I'll post the note below for those who cannot access Koreabridge.
In the end, the teacher's name was simply removed from the list at the teacher's request. No law suit was filed and that appears to be the end of it for this teacher. However, there are many other names on that list. Some of those people may not even be aware that they are on a blacklist. So, if you are a teacher who thinks that you might have been put on a blacklist, then you should check out the site.

IF YOU ARE ON THE LIST: guilty of what you are accused or not, you can sue this organization for libel and according to the information below, you would NOT have to pay anything! PLEASE, Contact the Seoul (Korean) Bar Association. Directions are included in the post below.

From Koreabridge Korean Job Advice Forums:

i went to the korea bar assoc on monday afternoon - they have an english interpreter there from 2-5 pm on mondays - she was very very nice, very sincere the lawyer was adamant i sue and he wanted me to sue right then and there!! he wanted to sue the school and the website - !! wow i was so impressed but i told him i was worried it could affect me getting a new visa so we talked some more and he had his asst call the website owner - well, they just laughed and didn't take it serious that anyone would actually sue!! in the end, he convinced them tho, don't know what exactly was said (obviously) but my name is no longer on the site. but it's not over yet, there are SO MANY teachers' names on there - i can't imagine why some koreans think this is ok - it's NOT!! it's so totally bullsh*t i really hope more people hear about this so this guy has to take the website down, it's really ugly. oh by the way, if i had let the lawyer sue, i wouldn't have had to pay anything (really!) so it's definitely worth it to go there if you have a serious problem. seoul bar asso, mondays from 2-5; seocho station line 2; exit num 8, go straight take first (almost immediate) left, go about 30 meters, on the right there's a large stone building which is on the corner, the entrance is around the corner and actually says "Seoul Bar Assoc." in english.

Halloween Pumpkin Grits

2007-10-30T11:21:00.000+09:00

So, I'm sitting there with all the pieces of the pumpkin and thinking, "What can I do with all of this." Seemed a shame to waste it. So, I decided to make some Korean-style Pumpkin Porridge (HobakJuk) with the pieces. But the amount of porridge made was not enough, so I decided to thicken it up a little to make it go around. Et voila: Halloween Pumpkin Grits.

You need:

Pumpkin meat chopped into small thin pieces. (about 3-4 cups)

Water enough to cover pumpkin

Dark Brown Packed sugar (2 tablespoons)

Quaker Instant Grits (3/4 cup)

Glutinous Rice Powder ( 3 tablespoons, more makes it thicker)

Salt (1 teaspoon)

Butter (1 tablespoon)

Molasses (1/4 teaspoon)

1. Place the pumpkin pieces in a large pot with enough water to cover them.

2. Boil until the pumpkin is soft.

3. Drain off excess water and place pumpkin in a blender

4. Puree the pumpkin and return to the pot on low heat stirring occasionally.

5. When it begins to boil, Add 1 teaspoon of salt and 2 tablespoons of packed brown sugar.

6. Slowly stir in 3 tablespoons of glutinous rice power (찹살가루). Add more rice power for thicker porridge.

7. Slowly stir in the 3/4 cups of instant grits making sure not to make clumps.

8. Cook for about 5 minutes or until the grits are softened and thickened. If they come out too thick (too much rice power or grits) then add some water 1/4 cup at a time or so until the desired consistency is reached.

9. Melt in the butter (add more butter for flavor as desired)

10. Serve piping hot in a bowl with a dollop of molasses (or maple syrup) for a little extra down home flavor and garnish.

Can I get a YEE-haw!!

Jack-the-bipolar-O'-lantern

2007-10-30T11:08:00.000+09:00

Every Halloween, I take a little time to entertain and teach my children (my real ones) about pumpkin carving and the tradition of the jack-o-lantern. My daughter is 5 year old now and she is starting to understand a little bit about ghosts and goblins and scary-things-that-go-bump-in-the-night so, I told her that the jack-o-lantern should be scary so it will scare away all of the boogymen (and women, important to be P.C. don'cha'know) on Halloween. But she said that it is just to scary and she wants daddy to make a 'heart' jack-o-lantern. So, we made a deal that the scary side would face out the window to scare away the evil spirits and the heart side would face inside to give us a little chuckle now and again. The result: Jack-the-bipolar-O'-lantern.

BOO!

One year of the view

2007-10-25T13:34:00.000+09:00

I'm a little late on the exact date which was 12 October. It's been a fast year and I looked back and was a bit shocked at how much I have written. I know I'm not the most read blog on the Korean Blogosphere but to all my faithful readers and to those yet to come...DaeDanHi Kamsahamnida...Thanks loads!

Today's Vocabulary: Gyrate

2007-10-24T13:58:00.001+09:00

Gyrate - 1. To wind or move in a spiral course 2. To revolve quickly and repeatedly on one's own axis

Observe an example:

Now if that ain't gyratin' I don't know what is.

Alarms in the night

2007-10-23T10:37:00.000+09:00

I was soaking in the warmth of sweet sleep and my wife came in.
"Hey...wake up!! what's that noise?"
"What the...Huh?"
"C'mere...listen....it sounds like an alarm and I smell smoke...do you smell smoke?"
Ok...I'm awake but still groggily searching for my glasses. I staggered to the window now noticing the siren like noise that caused my wife to stir. At first, I thought it sounded like a car horn. But it could also be a fire alarm like the one we heard when the apartment across the hallway caught fire. I smelled no more smoke than I would normally smell in the city at this time of year. I tried to triagulate the location of the sound but could only figure it was coming from the apartment across the parking lot. I saw no smoke billowing out of any of the apartments. I looked at the clock-3:34am.
"It's not coming from this apartment. Call the security guy and tell him to investigate it."
"shee-lo!" she said sheepishly in Korean to let me know that was not something she was inclined to do. She closed the windows and went back to bed. So, I picked up the phone to call the guy downstairs.
"No answer...probably sleeping at this hour." I thought to myself. "Forget it, go back to bed." So, I walked off to bed cursing the time of night and lamenting the thought of getting up in a mere 4 hours. But as I laid in bed, the sound that I couldn't even hear whilst bathing in sweet sleep was now an incessant dog whistle beckoning me to seek out its source. I put on my shirt and sandals and announced, "I'm going downstairs to find out what it is."
"OK, I'm going back to sleep." My wife advised.
"I can't sleep now." I said as I closed the door. Once on the first floor, I found the security guard sound asleep. I knocked on the door and spoke "Adjusshi!!"" I repeated several times envying him his sound sleep and then as I walked off in the direction of the noise which was now obviously coming from the basement parking lot.
The mystery was revealed. Just as I had thought it was a stuck car horn. It was one of those 'bongo' pickup trucks that drives around with a PA system on the top announcing to the world that there were fruits and veggies to be had. I chuckled as the thought crossed my mind that this truck just doesn't know when to shut up. As I drew closer, the sound got louder and then almost deafening. I tried the doors - no luck. I banged on the hood, stupidly hoping that the sound would stop with a jar. Then, I looked for a phone number on the dash. Sloppily written with a sharpie on a compact disk was the driver's phone number. I searched my pockets and realized that I didn't bring my phone. The sound was incessant and had now grown into a full-blown headache. The thought of sleep now long gone and replaced by an urge to take a couple of Tylenol and brush my teeth.
I knew, without any doubt, that if i did not do something about this, I would be hearing that sound all night and sleep would be out of the question. I turned around to go and get my phone and noticed a door. I remembered that I had seen some security guys walking in and out of that door from time to time but thought, "Surely not. Who could hear that and do nothing" as I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open to find two crumpled figures asleep soundly on a heated floor.
"Adjusshi!" I demanded attention gently, "Jo Ghee Yo!!" and then realized that someone who could sleep throught the blare of a car horn not 10 meters away would not likely wake up with gentle chiding. "AADUUSHEEEEEEEEE!!! JOGEEEEYOOOOO!" I made my best attemt to be loud but reasonably polite sounding and one of them stirred and woke. It was not immediately evident that he was coherent of the sound coming from the parking lot. So, lacking the proper language skills, I just opened the door and pointed. He blankly looked at me like "What do you want me to do about it." Though he dare not say that to me. I told him he should try to call the owner.
"There's no phone number. " He said and led me to the conclusion that somehow he had known about the noise and deliberately done nothing.
"There IS a phone number on the dash." I said in Korean and walked out as he was still digging for his phone. I came back and gave him the phone number and he called. No answer. And indicated his resignation to leave it alone. Frustrated with his lack of concern, I just turned to leave. The other security guard was still either asleep or feigning during the entire exchange. "How the hell can he sleep," I commented a bit rudely and left.
Back in my apartment, the sound that was barely audible when I had first been stirred was still ringing in my ears enough to make it difficult to sleep. I remembered the phone number and called. Someone picked up the phone.
"YoBoSayYo" I greeted --- no answer. So, I hung up. I sent the best Korean message I could think of "Car....problem....go see!!!" I waited and then fumbled through the electronic dictionary in my phone looking for the words disconnect, battery, and horn after that I sent another message. This time I received a call a few minutes later.
"Who is this." demanded the Korean-speaking voice.
"Finally, someone responds." I thought and then said in Korean, "Your claxon is honking."
"What." I assumed that claxon was somehow not the right word though I recall that is what they called it.
"Do you drive a 'bongo' parked in the basement of Woobang Apartments?" I managed to make a full sentence in Korean.
"Yes." came the terse answer. I was annoyed by the curtness of his answer until I realized that I probably would not like being called at 3:45 in the morning even if my car was making a problem.
"Your car is noisy. Please see to it." I was not using the polite form anymore.
"Alguesseumnida." The voice replied understanding and hung up.
I was fairly confident that the sound would be taken care of and it was perhaps that confidence that led me to lay in bed and waiting for the sound to cease. I imagined a person getting out of bed and getting dressed and going to his truck. It seemed like it was taking forever but I could still hear the ringing in my ears. I wondered if the ringing was just my imagination as a variety of other early A.M. sounds seeped through the closed windows. I got out of bed again to see if the sound had stopped, but it had not. I closed both outside and inside windows, knowing that it would make the house stuffy. It was 4:40. I laid down and eventually fell asleep with a pillow over my head. When i woke up the next morning, the sound was gone and the house felt like a sauna. I hope his battery ran out.

Kristi Lu Stout on Korea

2007-10-18T11:22:00.000+09:00

The last few days, I have been watching my favorite ~~eye candy~~ CNN anchor singing the praises of South Korea. In the CNN special report "Eye on South Korea" Ms. Stout is travelling around Korea (with Eunice Yoon and Ji-Ae Sohn) and giving various reports on the state of everything from the 'ubiquitous' connectivity and the gaming industry to the 'ultramodern' shipbuilding industry. Unfortantely, that eye seems to be looking through a pair of rose-colored glasses.

I know there are a lot of great things in Korea and basically, I love this country. I make my home and my family here. However, although some of the reports are interesting and will undoubtedly do some good for the Korean economy and the human interest stories will obviously appeal to an international audience while they will leave the Korean population writhing in masterbatory ecstacy. The whole thing feels like an extended "Sparkling Korea" or "Seoul of Asia" commercial singing the praises of the South Korean culture and economy without any of the balanced reporting that can help encourage reflection on improvements that need to be made.

Hey Kristy, in case you read this, I have an idea: instead of just slathering over the high rate of connectivity and showing the gamers in their glory on the stages and on the televisions of the nation, why don't you focus a little on the internet and gaming addiction that is ruining lives all over the country. Instead of 'oohing' and 'aahing' the shipbuilding industry and hi-tech gadgets, why not add a little balanced reporting and show the plight of the migrant workers of Korea who do a lot of the work neccessary keep the industry alive. While you're at it, you could focus a little on the state of English education in Korea and maybe have a story or two about the hagwon industry and crooked directors. This would segue nicely into a report on racial discrimination and the treatment of mixed race children.

I guess "Eye on South Korea" is not about balanced reporting. If we want some real grit we need to call Christianne Amanpour or Anderson Cooper. Ms. Stout is just too sweet looking to be able to handle any of the tough reporting and probably would be best sticking to the pollyanna side of the news anyway. In the meantime, I'll just turn the sound down and enjoy.

P.S. - If you get down to Daegu, look me up, I'll buy you a couple of drinks and fill you in.

UPDATE: At the advice of an anonymous poster, I would like to offer my apologies to the lovely Ms. Stout (great name though, eh?) as they did add some stuff on cyber addiction and the gap between the rich and the poor in Seoul according to the reader. I was too busy to watch this morning so I, unfortunately, missed it. Assuming that these pieces have the equivalent enthusiasm that the brighter pieces have and are not just stuck in there to appear balanced then I apologize.
PSS: I'd still like to fill you in over a beer, Kristi:)

Baek-in Pedophiles in Korea???!!!

2007-10-17T10:42:00.000+09:00

Say it ain't so. Interesting discussions over at Marmot's, ROKdrop, and Lost Nomad
You take an environment of legal laxity as is found in Korea and you are bound to attract some of these freaks. Problem is that they don't look or act like freaks. They are often very good with children and exactly the kind of person that children's hagwons are looking for; a director's dream. As the father of a 5-year-old daughter, I worry every day that she is going to run into someone like this guy...whether Korean or Foreign the odds are just too great to not be on edge.

I am reminded of a complaint that my wife waged with me one day. She commented on a foreigner that was standing next to the entrance to the place my daughter goes to dance class. My wife said that this guy looked up and d0wn my daughter in such a way that it really upset her. Not to be overly boastful, I realize that I'm just like every other proud father in my love of my daughter but I know that she is exceptionally attractive (child model) and a very tempting target for a Korean pedophile because of her caucasian appearance. So, of course, I'm watching eyes and behavior with the paranoia that only a father can have.

It would be interesting to hear from other fathers out there, particularly those like myself with mixed race children: Do you think you are more paranoid here than you would be back home? Do you worry, like I do, that your lack of langauge skills would aggrevate a potential situation? I personally don't know how I would have stopped myself from opening a can of whoopass on the guy my wife saw looking at my daughter like that. But that is a foreigner, the cops wouldn't really give a hoot....what if it was a Korean man? What could you say, what could you do? What if your daughter's bus driver or swimming coach molested her?
All comments welcome.

It's gochu time

2007-10-11T13:10:00.000+09:00

I'm a little late on this but it seems that some people in my city apartment have decided that being in the city won't stop them from the usual countrified things; setting the peppers and something else (I think it's either rice stalks or mugwort) to dry in the sun. It sure makes for an interesting and colorful picture anyway. Little bit low quality due to the cameraphone.

About the Waekookin mall

2007-10-07T12:39:00.000+09:00

So, we have this new online mall called waekookinmall.com that sells mostly IKEA furniture. I'm thinking, great, maybe i can get that (Fusion) table i wanted to get. I saw it on another Korean site and it was about double the price from stateside and I just wasn't willing to pay that much for what is usually supposed to be cheap DIY furniture. So, I went to the mall to see if it was there and it wasn't. Then, I sent a message to see if they had it or could order it for a reasonable price. Below is my question:

Is it possible to get IKEA's Fusion table here for a reasonable price?...the
korean retailers seem to be marking up more than 100% and i'm just not willing
to pay that for what is supposed to be affordable furniture.>

The response took just a day or so, but was dissappointing to say the least:

Sorry, We don't have it in stock. Maybe you're right but here is Korea.>>Thank you,

This kind of response just puzzles me. Seems polite enough at the end, but those words "...here is Korea" just get me all hot under the collar. Particularly when dealing with businesses that claims to be 'foreigner friendly.' A company whose motto is "For your better life in Korea" and whose very name suggests that it exists to serve the foreign community seems satisfied to teach me about living in Korea. I can understand that they do not have the table I'm looking for and I can accept that but to come back with "here is Korea" just makes no sense. But having been in Korea a long time, I am used to communication difficulties and thought it might just be a communication problem. Nonetheless,I asked for some clarification:

Perhaps you could explain what you mean by "Maybe you're right but here is
Korea." Do you mean that I should EXPECT to be marked up 100% because this
is Korea? Do you mean that Korean businesses are normally usurious? With
this reply are you suggesting that this practice is ethical or justifiable? Is your glib
response simply a result of your desire to take advantage of the foreign community without using the appropriate global business practices? Perhaps it is just a lack of English communication skills. Please help me to understand this brief and enigmatic statement so I may share it with the foreign community as I am sure they would like to know where you stand on the subject of ethics.

Was I too harsh? I sent the previous message on 7 October....Thusfar, no answer has been posted. I guess they must be busy.

It's difficult to be more racist and bigoted than this...

2007-09-30T23:20:00.000+09:00

Something for my new WTF department: EFLGeek.com has some shocking pictures of some placards with some very provocative and racist language right here in Korea. Yes...I know...its difficult to fathom but they must be seen to be believed. Simply outrageous and offensive to say the least.
I can't help but wonder if the people who placed these signs have any possiblity of being sued by the people whose names (first and last!!) have been made public in such a way. Would the Korean high court be inclined to recognize the linguistic and cultural implications of the language used and would they be able to apply the slander/libel laws when the source of the slander is not Korean?

The End of Racial Discrimination in Korea?

2007-09-30T00:25:00.000+09:00

According to the Korea Times, the Ministry of Justice is going to begin punishing direct and indirect discrimination on the basis of race, sex and nationality. If true then it's the best news I've heard all year. But one suspects that the new rules touted by the Ministry of Justice will be kept and enforced about as well as the traffic and parking rules.

What this could mean for Korea's hundreds of thousands of immigrant workers is a legal leg to stand on in order to get better working conditions and pay. It would mean the college and university teachers like myself would be entitled to the possiblity of tenure (assuming proper qualifications) and the pay that goes along with it. It means that banks and credit institutions could no longer refuse housing and unsecured loans to foreigners as has been the common practice. One would also assume that it would have some effect on the problem of foreigner ID numbers and their uselessness relative to that of Korean ID numbers (for example on websites).

If, and we are talking a big 'if' here, it can be properly implemented and if the Human Rights Commission does not get as bogged down in legal wrangling as one would reasonably suspect, then this could be a big step forward for Korea. It will be interesting to see how some of the ultranationalists both in the street and in the assembly will take this (certainly not lying down).

It must be the adrenalin

2007-09-27T13:08:00.000+09:00

Talking on the cellphone and driving has been one of my pet peeves ever since a fellow doing the same while making an illegal U-turn knocked me and my motorcycle into oncoming traffic and a parked car. (not to mention that I suspect the fellow that gave me my neck injury also was talking on the phone) Of course, there is also the far too frequent fellow driver who just seems to be driving slower than everyone else and as you pass buy wondering if the guy is having a heart attack or something you notice that he is either talking on the phone or watching television or both. It is getting to be a real epidemic. And I say that because it IS a disease. One that the government has a responsibility to stop.
Korea Beat scoops a Yonhap news story that 70% of Korean drivers talk on the phone while driving even though 53.4 % of them believe it to be 'very dangerous' (read the rest at Korea beat).
Every so often, I just have to scream at a student who is driving around the campus talking on the cell phone (particularly when he/she just about runs over everything or one in the way.) and they just look at me like 'duh' and keep right on doing what they were doing. In addition the article cites driving while watching TV another problem.
Here are a few possible solutions:

1. Force higher premiums for insurance on people who have been involved in accidents that involve TV or Phone. (MUCH Higher)
2. Have the police actually do something like, stop drivers when they are talking on the phone. I've seen it a time or two but not enough.
3. Start taking pictures of these people and send them the ticket in the mail just like the speeding tickets.
4. The government could make the penalties for talking on the cell or watching TV while driving actually hurt instead of just a slap on the wrist.
5. Automatic 100% fault to any driver involved in any accident while talking on the telephone. (see Korea Law Blog for some ridiculous information on the way 'fault' works here.)
6. Have police automatically confiscate and destroy telephones and TVs from drivers who are caught in the act. Due process not needed...just take them out, put them under the wheel and tell the driver to go home and sin no more:)

Before and After

2007-09-21T19:46:00.000+09:00

I try to keep my few readers happy so, upon request, I have posted a shot of myself before and after the weightloss. The after shots are today and todays weight is officially -50KG!!!!!(cheers from the cheap seats) I am now under 100KG which is a milestone. I'm not going to go on here trying to say i am now skinny or anything, I need to lose another 20 kg for that I think.

What is kind of funny to me is that I can see a difference, but the difference is not that dramatic to me. It just doesn't seem like 50Kg when I look at it. Aside from the belly, I guess it really shows in the face and neck though. Sorry the face is blocked out...i'm shy:( I'm just not ready to expose myself to the world yet.)

Three pics to pereuse:

1. Summer 2006 At 150Kg (about a 64inch waist)

2. Spring 2007 At about 115 or so. (about a 45 inch waist)

3. Current 5 minutes ago at 99.5KG (wearing 38inch for the first time in more than 11 years) Cameraphone shot, sorry about the low quality....maybe i'll post another one at 90Kg later this year I hope.

Top 10 reasons NOT to lose 100lbs. in Korea

2007-09-19T09:29:00.000+09:00

For those who still need a ~~excuse~~ reason:

10. Now that you comfortably fit in an economy class seat, so you no longer have a legitimate reason to beg for an upgrade.

9. You no longer have an excuse to park rear-end first since you can squeeze out of your car just like everyone else.

8. Due to the combination of being lighter and eating less (particularly at night), you get drunk faster (No, wait…is that bad?).

7. Thanks to gravity, the loose skin only has one direction to go. If you are over 40 you may notice to your dismay that you have developed a ‘turkey waddle’ and not just on your chin.

6. Being told you look ‘belly good’ gets old unless you get a thousand spot every time someone says it.

5. You have to buy new clothes every 2 months (fine for a company exec or CEO but not so good on a teacher’s salary) and you have to throw out tailored clothes that you had made 6 months ago. Of course you could wait another year and maybe you can use the fabric to double the size of your wardrobe.

4. You will be cornered in the elevator by every person you have ever seen (but who have never spoken to you before) to talk about your weight loss.These people to whom you have never spoken will illustrate, pantomime and use their best Pidgin English to explain to you just how grotesquely fat you used to be. Imagine Pictionary with a 17 floor time limit.

3. No one will be paying you for telling them your secret to losing so much weight.

2. That nice comfortable groove your rotund ass made in your office chair is no longer ergonomic.

1. The cheapest clothes are in a size that you realize you will never reach until 6 months after death.

Obviously, the reasons for losing...ahem...outweigh the reasons for keeping your fat ass fat.
108lbs and counting...50kg is right around the corner~~!!!

Rice vs. Cereal for breakfast

2007-09-14T12:40:00.000+09:00

A classic confrontation of East and West takes place in my kitchen regularly. I usually wake my daughter and get her ready for school in the morning while my wife sleeps with our 2-year-old. Whenever I try to feed my daughter rice in the morning, she always moans and complains and just plain old doesn't want to eat it no matter how I fix it. But ask her if she wants a bowl of Cherrios and she will woof them down like a good old-fasioned hoover. So, I'm thinking, it's not like I'm feeding her Lucky Charms or Chex Choco or something ladened with sugar like that. Just plain old Cherrios, the same kind I ate when I was a kid and the same kind that is enjoyed for breakfast by millions of American and Canadian kids who have been growing up just fine in the meantime. But if my wife hears that she didn't eat rice and kimchi for breakfast, I might as well have given her a nice big bowl of arsenic and cyanide because in her view, cereal has absolutely no nutritional value. Even when I show her the side of the box and all the stuff about 'vitamins and minerals, balanced diet, etc' it only enrages her further.
Now, I am not stupid enough to try and say that Cherrios is somehow better for my daughter than a nice bowl of rice and a few bites of the 'miracle banchan'. But, I would think that constantly chiding her to "eat" every 5 minutes and taking 30 or 40 minutes to down a small bowl of rice with egg and kimchi is more stress than it is really worth. And I really don't want my daughter to grow to be one of those Koreans adults who thinks they will die if they go a day without rice and kimchi. Surely this kind of breakfast browbeat has something to do with the reasons some people think like this.
My wife points to the fact that so many Americans are overweight and she wants to make sure our daughter does not grow up to be overweight like most of my family. O.K. no argument with keeping my daughters weight down but what arguments do I have in my favor. "Even Oprah said cereal was bad. " How can I top that logic?

KBS on criminal teachers

2007-09-06T13:30:00.000+09:00

Last night, KBS aired a "60 Minutes" program focusing on criminal foreigner teachers . They started with the drug users and dealers, then moved on to those with fake degrees, and finished off with teachers working with no qualifications at all. The bulk of the program was about the misdeeds of the teachers and the illegal things they do to get their jobs (and while on the job); no big suprise there. I was actually suprised that they made an attempt at balanced journalism and focused a little attention on the Hagwon directors and recruiters that make it possible for these people to find jobs. They also showed some good teachers in their classes and gave a little attention to the fact that there are many good teachers in Korea both foreign and Korean. But the focus was well-centered on the misdeeds of the foreigner teachers (hey, they gotta get the viewers somehow). I couldn't understand everything but I definately did not get the impression that they were being particularly prejudiced or just bashing foreigners in general. This may just be my lack of understanding Korean since I am not fluent and my wife did not get to watch all of it with me. If someone else got a different impression (evidently the Metropolitician did), you are welcome to make comment on it below. This is not really about the quality of the reporting. I'll leave that to others.

That said; as I was watching the story unfold, I found myself incredibly annoyed at the foreigner teachers who cheat, lie, use fake degrees and work without proper documents as much as I loathed the Hagwon directors and recruiters because basically it is THEIR FAULT that English teachers (myself included) are paid so little in a country where English Education is a multi-billion dollar industry. The internet is inundated with advertisements for recruiters trying to find teachers at any cost so they can make a little money. According to the KBS feature, they don't even seem to care if the person has no education or experience teaching (suprise?!).

If, and this is a big if, the Korean government could stop the hiring of unqualified teachers, then there just wouldn't be enough teachers to go around. Hagwons would close right and left and the pay for good and qualified teachers would rise. But, that is how this all got started in the first place. The glut of hagwons needing warm foreign bodies to teach the classes.

But the government won't do what is necessary to keep out the unqualified and the other riffraff because, even if they could, the hagwon directors association would scream bloody murder and the parents would be screaming at the government because of the lack of English study facilities. The fact is, there are just NOT that many qualified teachers who are willing to come to Korea to teach for the mediocre pay and cultural aggrevation that is most often perceived.

WARNING, FENCERIDER JUMPS OFF THE FENCE HERE!!
I can tell you that if I knew of a person who was:

working illegally or
with a fake degree...
using drugs on or off the workplace (not only is it a crime and a cultural no-no but it effects the way you teach, period)
dealing drugs to ANYONE (especially students)
I suspected as a pederast or other type of abuser

I would not hesitate to turn them in to the authorities. Call me a prude, tattletale, race traitor, hypocrite, whatever you like...these people are costing me money and quickly changing to negative the traditionally positive and respectful view of teachers in Korea and they are stunting the progress of English Education here. If that makes you stop respecting me or reading my blog, so be it. Catch you later. I'm gonna watch out for what's mine.

Message to Immigration: If you need any help to sting some of these miscreants. I'm in.
Message to Illegals without degrees or quals: If you want to teach English here or anywhere, get your qualifications, go to school, take a course, learn about teaching language and get it right.
Message to others in Illegal activities: Don't assume that foreigner you are drinking with, or the guy you meet on the train and think is 'alright' is what you think. It might be me pulling your chain just long enough to get you busted. Entrapment laws in Korea are a FARCE! they won't help you.

Back to the free teaching

2007-09-05T09:33:00.000+09:00

Started back on the volunteer class (see labels "volunteer stuff" for more on this) and about half the class is returnees (or returnettes if you prefer since they are all housewives and women) and the other half is new students (even 2 men!!) most of which will fit in nicely. However, more than a few of the new students are what I call "왕초보" or, for lack of a better term, 'absolute rank beginners' with practically NO skills whatsoever. I am teaching the second half of American Headway Starter (8-14) this semester and many of these will have a hard time keeping up. I have already had at least one student concerned about wasting the first half of the text.
Since no good deed goes unpunished, I have discovered that the proper paperwork was possibly not filed at my school for last semester and now all my good work has possibly created more problem than good for me at school. Professors have to file a permission form to teach 'outside' classes. I thought this was all taken care of by the previous "team leader" at the dong office but apparently that is in question and permission for this semester has not been requested via an invitation from the teaching place. So now I have a headache to deal with.
Again, anyone interested in teaching a volunteer class at your local dong or gu office, let me know and I am sure I can help you arrange it (or at least tell you how). If you are an F2 holder, it is a really good way to get to know your community and make some important contacts as well. For me, it has really been worth the couple of hours a week for the networking it has accomplished. Drop me a comment or email if you want information.

Korean Redneck Wings

2007-09-04T09:40:00.000+09:00

I recently tried a recipe from Zen Kimchi's Food Journal for Baba Ghanoush. I too overdid the garlic since I was using pre-chopped garlic and did not know exactly how much to add. Evidently, 2 cloves makes a lot less than I thought it did. That said, it was quite tasty and goes well spread on a fresh baguette and a glass of white zinfandel. And being the reciprocal sort of fellow that I am, I decided to post another fusion recipe that I took a while to come up with and have been using to satisfy folks from both sides of the big pond. I call them Korean Redneck Wings.

1 kg chicken wings/drummettes (I like to use the drummettes (봉))

1/2 cup soy sauce (I find 오복 works best)

1/2 cup honey

1/4 cup molasses (difficult item to find in Korea, probably only on a US military base)

2 tablespoons Tabasco sauce (McIlhenny is my brand)

2 tablespoons Korean red pepper paste (고추장)

2-3 tablespoons Korean red pepper powder (고추가루)

2 teaspoons ground ginger (Fresh is best but powder is OK too)

3 or 4 cloves of garlic

sesame seeds (garnish)

In a large bowl mix soy sauce, honey, molasses, Tabasco sauce, red pepper paste and powder, ginger and garlic.

Add chicken to the bowl and mix well, making sure to saturate all of the drummettes.

Cover and place in the refrigerator for approximately 1 hour.

Heat oven to 180C

Place drummettes on an ungreased cookie sheet (I have also used a casserole dish successfully but the wings tend to come out a little too runny)

Cook for 50 minutes. At 10 and 20 minutes brush with remaining sauce. At 25 minutes, turn them over. At 30 and 40 minutes, brush with more sauce.

Garnish with sesame seeds

This is what was left after my wife got done with the rest of the kilo of chicken.

You would think that with all the Tabasco, red pepper and garlic that these would come out really spicy but they don't (from the perspective of the Korean palate!). Even if you increase the red pepper and garlic as mentioned. If you want fire wings in the same vein, you would need to find the fire pepper (ask for 땡초가루 at the store or market) and use that instead of the regular kind. That should melt your epiglottis nicely. I know the molasses is a bit of a task to find if you don't have a contact at the nearest base. If you find a place to buy it on the economy, please drop me a comment; I'm all out and my wife is begging me for more wings.

These are great with cold beer (as if there were any doubt). If you have friends over, make sure you double or triple up on the recipe. I made 2 kilos worth for my family (6 adults and 3 and 1/2 children) and they disappeared in about an hour along with 6 pitcher bottles of Cass.

Other variations include using leftover sauce to cook chicken strips (less oven time) to put on a nice green salad and using the same sauce for full-sized drumsticks (needs more oven time). I even used the same sauce for making squid side dishes (오징어구이안주) which met with approval from young and old.

Enjoy and be sure to drop me a comment if you give it a try and let me know how it turned out.

Hostages Released but at what cost?

2007-08-31T20:57:00.000+09:00

If you are stupid enough to believe this, then it didn't cost a thing (in terms of money anyway).

The office of President Roh Moo-hyun Friday indirectly denied news reports
alleging that the South Korean government has paid a hefty ransom to the Taliban
in return for the recent release of South Korean hostages.

"There is no secret agreement with the Taliban other than the already announced
conditions for the hostage release," Roh's spokesman, Cheon Ho-seon, said in his
daily media briefing.

We've all heard this kind of denial from public officials in the past so take it with a grain of salt. I just wonder how long it will be before the lie is uncovered on this one.
At any rate, they have 'promised' to bring home the few troops that South Korea has there and additionally will not send any more missionaries into the country (Which I expect to be enforced about as well as the traffic and parking laws) yadayadayada....WHAT A BUNCH OF WUSSES....tell me I'm wrong! Make me eat my words Prez Roh!!

This is the only time when I could say that I wish the propensity for breaking contracts found in many aspects of this society would manifest itself. Why not? We told the Taliban that we are going to give them everything they want (except money...puhahahahahaha) and get what we want for a while (hostages back) then do to the Taliban exactly what has been done to thousands of foreign hagwon teachers for years....break the contract....and just to show 'em who's the ~~hagwon owner~~ boss:
1. Try to ascertain where the Taliban that kept the captives are by questioning the hostages and then send an additional 2000 combat troops into the areas to hunt down the Taliban ~~(and get our money back)~~ and hold them hostage for a month or so and make them watch D-war, 동방신기 (DongBangShinGi) and 바다 (Bada) for a couple of days, they'll be so confused they won't know what to do.
2. Then, just to be spiteful, have the government sponsor two or three planeloads of proselytizers to go there and administer some humanitarian aid under the protection of another 1000 or so troops.

Why should we do that? We promised that we wouldn't?

1. Because a promise made under duress of this sort is not a promise it is a survival instinct and therefore needs not be kept.
2. The Taliban is not a government entity and to even give them the political time of day is wrong in too many ways to count.
3. Because there comes a point in the history of a country where it is time to at least ask for a kiss before lubing up and bending over for this kind of thing. (first the NORKS, then the Nigerian militants, and now the Taliban, who's next?)
4. Otherwise it's just to bloody embarrassing

Top 20 reasons to lose 100 lbs. in Korea.

2007-08-28T14:58:00.000+09:00

As a bit of a celebratory shot...having reached the 100 lb. mark:
Though I'm still fat by most anyone's definition, some things have gotten better. Not all of them are specifically related to Korea...just to losing large quantities of weight. So, without further adieu: TOP TWENTY REASONS TO LOSE WEIGHT IN KOREA.

20. Summer seems just a little less stifling (a little mind you!)

19. Your mother-in-law actually TELLS you to eat more

18. The thought of joining your colleagues for a climb up the local ‘mountain’ no longer strikes fear into your heart.

17. Your wife’s need to keep the house at a constant 30 C no longer makes you fear winter

16. You get to buy new clothes at the market.

15. You can actually walk down the aisles between the students

14. You actually have a LAP again

13. You can hold both your children on you LAP at the same time

12. You can sit (almost) comfortably in a school desk.

11. You can carry your children Korean style (riding on your back with hands locked under their behind)

10. The scale at the local sauna can actually tell you how much you weigh now.

9. You no longer have to call home for a care package of underwear once a year. You can finally buy a pair of underwear at E-mart

8. You hear the word “DoongDoong” (fat) a LOT less in public places.

7. You can get in your friends car without asking him to pull away from the curb so you can open the door without grounding it to the sidewalk.

6. Shock value. You have lost more than the average female college student weighs. 흑!

5. You now ‘fit’ in your Korean car. Your belly no longer touches the steering wheel and someone can actually sit in the seat behind you.

4. You no longer displace large quantities of water when getting in the public bath. This results in the secondary benefit of not having to endure the looks of the attendant and other patrons when this happens.

3. Kids now pet your arms instead of patting your stomach. Buy a bottle of Veet and you will become pretty much invisible.

2. You don’t set off the ‘over limit’ alarm in a half-full Elevator anymore: thus avoiding perhaps the single most embarrassing moment in your life.

1. Your wife tells you your ‘gochu’ looks bigger (According to Oprah’s Dr. Oz, men gain 1 inch per 35 pounds (15.8KG) -- that means almost 3 more inches!!

If anyone has any more to add, please feel free in the comments.

Blogosphere uber alles!!!

2007-08-15T18:21:00.000+09:00

I noticed that my post on my Korean ~~bumper car~~ driving experience has been translated in its entirety and posted on a site German site called "Travel Notes" It apparently has articles about travel from various worldwide blogs. My German is both rusty and weak to begin with but it appears that there are articles from all over from this prolific blogger who appears to post 3 to 5 articles or more per day of translated posts mostly dealing with travel. If I'm off on this, or if I have missed something, someone please let me know. Now I know that in Germany, my blog can be called "Ansicht vom Zaun"

Gotta love the internet and this blogosphere we live in...and just in case the blogger from Travel Notes is a regular reader: tausend dank!!

Also worth noting (but admittedly not quite as exciting) is the trackback from the already world- famous GIKorea ROK Drop. Hooah!

And now for a moment with nature

2007-08-15T13:35:00.001+09:00

Anybody out there know what kind of spider this is and if it is at all poisonous? It sure does look menacing and it was the biggest spider I have seen around here (about 3.5 inches across). I just happened to have my 'dica' with me and this picture came out pretty good.

D-war: the round-eye view

2007-08-14T11:41:00.000+09:00

To hear the Korean media hype D-war, you would think that it was quite a cinematic experience. The thought that media hype equals cinematic quality is an idea that I got over a long time ago, regardless of the national origin of the movie. But I am willing to give any film a viewing, especially when it is not coming out of my own pocket. My wife, her brother and his wife and I decided to go and check out a late night movie last weekend and though I preferred to go and see the Transformer movie, the others had already seen it, so I was trumped and D-war was 'obvious' choice since most of the other theaters were showing that KwangJu Massacre movie which would be WAY beyond my language ability.

The Lowdown -- Warning: possible spoilers (?)

The 'plot' brings an old Korean legend into the present day with a story about a serpent (with its evil army) battling it out with a 'good' dragon. Having missed the last time around in Korea, 500 years ago, they are both seeking the sacrificial maiden with a birthmark on her chest while a reincarnated guru and his student are assigned the task of protecting her by taking her to 'the grand cave' for a sacrifice to the 'good' dragon.

The key to watching this movie is a healthy dose of 'suspension of disbelief.' Perhaps there are some things lost in the translation between the Korean and English, but it just seems like the plot is all over the place and we are asked to just 'accept' too much that doesn't make any sense, like why the dragon, who is capable of instantly flipping a car hundreds of meters into the air or slithering up the side of the Liberty Tower can't seem to chase down what looks like (and likely is) an old Hyundai Excel on a straight stretch of suburban road. The absence of any late model or luxury vehicles in L.A. is also a bit distracting for anyone who has ever been there (or even seen it in another movie). Why this good-looking TV reporter (Behr) wears a ridiculous-looking pendant around his neck everywhere he goes is also a mystery. Obviously, it is all made clear to us in the end...sort of.

I was expecting this cinematic blockbuster and what I got was kick-ass Hollywood-style computer graphics show on top of a bad B-movie with a few washed up television actors topped off with the 'I-am-Korean-and-everybody-told-me-I-couldn't-do-it-but-i-did' self-aggrandizing, nationalistic cherry at the end of the movie.

The acting by both the Korean and American actors was poor; probably owing to poor script writing more than the abilities of the actors. Leading man, Jason Behr the may be used to cheesy scripts from his television drama days but he couldn't get a handle on this Limburger. Robert Forster, who has been around since the beginning of time and has even been nominated for an Oscar lent a pivotal roll as the storyteller and reincarnated protector and was probably the most convincing roll in the movie. Sarah, the sacrificial maiden for whom all the chaos is wrought, is played with amazing lifelessness by relative (and probably henceforth) unknown Amanda Brooks. This movie is full of mostly television actors, like Elizabeth Pena , that you will probably recognize from the fringes of various dramas and sitcoms. I couldn't find much information on the Korean actors that helped to set up the thin plot at the beginning of the movie, but the performances were no better than the American actors. Again, I blame most of this on the poorly written script and one would suspect that a director who is as stubborn as he claims probably did not allow much freedom to the American actors to make appropriate changes. It is also worth noting that the director was a comedian in his former incarnation here in Korea. This might also help to explain some of the ridiculous dialogue.

Another distracting aspect of the film is the battle sequences. The evil army was well portrayed with graphics but the 'American' forces did not resemble closely enough what we would expect for the situation, again likely due to the limited budget and the need to keep the number of extras to a minimum. However, as Hollywood has shown us in movies like Troy and Alexander, much can be done with graphics to show larger forces than are economically feasible. The small number of forces brought out to fight against the mammoth serpent attacking downtown L.A. or the evil cannon-toting dinosaur army just didn't seem realistic considering the reality of U.S. forces available in the area (see map below). I suppose the director couldn't afford to scramble any air power from Edwards, Pendleton, or Palms or troops from any of the hundreds of other bases in the area.

So, who should go and see this movie? --Kids would probably love it as it resembles an episode of Power Rangers on a combination of meth and crack. Computer graphics-philes will love this movie since the most spectacular thing about it is the object of their philia. Others with time and money to kill might find it entertaining just to count the number of Hyundais in LA; be sure to buy lots of popcorn.

Finally, I can understand that the budget of this movie and its directors access to the necessary materials to make this movie a top notch production may have been limited and it makes sense for anyone trying to promote a movie to go full-bore and try and make your movie seem like a masterpiece that's worth the money. Hollywood has mastered the art of present a dud as a diamond. However, other than the graphics and perhaps it's directors stick-to-it-iveness, there is little else to applaud about this movie. The fact that more than 5 million people have seen it may be more due to hyper-nationalistim and a desire to support the gumption of its Korean director who I'm sure will not lose any sleep over what I or any other round-eye thinks about his movie

Kim Jong Il: One of the most important figures in history

2007-08-14T11:01:00.000+09:00

Now if that headline doesn't get your attention... I teach a class of gifted and talented middle school students from all over the this area and they were asked to write the 3 most important figures in history (with the caveat that they may only add 1 Korean to the list if they wish; see note below). Granted it's only 15 students (admittedly not enough to be a legitimate polling) but the results might suprise you. Below is the list of responses with the number of repeat votes.

Adolf Hitler - 5
Kim Jung Il - 4
George W. Bush - 3
Thomas Edison - 3
Albert Einstein - 3
Bill Gates - 3
Abraham Lincoln - 3
Christopher Columbus - 2
Ahn JoongGeun (Korean independence activist)
King Sejong - 2

Other mentions (1 each)
Michael Jackson
Napoleon
The Beatles
A.B. Nobel
Lee SunShin (Korean Admiral)
Winston Churchill
Stalin (Spelled "Starlin" )
Steven Hawking
Nikolai Lenin
Issac Newton
Ludwig VonBeethoven
William Shakespeare
Alexander the Great
Mahatma Ghandi
Mao Zedong

Belly Belly Intulesting, No?

Note: I knew that if I did not include the limit of one Korean, I would have had a list of the most important Korean historical figures (it's happened before). I explained as kindly as I could think of that even though Korea is a fine country with some great and interesting historical figures, its influence on WORLD history is very limited. I asked them to keep in mind that we were talking about the greatest figures in ALL of history. This is what they came up with. It is also worth noting that one student asked me during the polling if all the people should be "good" people; I responded that they could choose whomever they thought was the most significant in history and emphasised that there are 'important' figures in history who were VERY bad. D'ya think that influenced them at all :) Ah...young minds!

Signs like this just make no sense

2007-08-13T11:40:00.000+09:00

Over at Marmot's Hole, there was a brief mention (and protracted comments) of an article in the Korea Times last week about making Korea's signage 'foreigner-friendly.'
Romanization of Korean words, especially names of places, also differs from organization to organization. Here's a tidbit:

For example, the state-run Korail's Web site says Kyoungsang-do, while the government orthography is Gyeongsang-do. Koreans know the two refer to the same region, but it can be a huge difference to foreigners.

Jung-gu ward office's Web site introduces tourist attractions in the district. If you click ``Myungdong,'' you cannot find information about Myungdong but will find that of ``Myeongdong'' instead.

``It is sad that Korea plans huge projects to attract more visitors but neglects small and detailed things that are really important in providing foreigners with a convenient stay in Korea. Koreans rarely ask foreigners what they want,'' an American who has taught English here for five years said on condition of anonymity.

Sad indeed! Even sadder may be the reason that the foreigner chose to remain anonymous; but that's a different story.

It's not the government that has the problem. They have been at least 'trying' to make the signage consistent on the roads and in the government agencies. It is the individual businesses and peripheral tourist facilities that try to make signs without consulting someone who actually knows a thing or two about English. Then the come up with beauties like the above. It might as well read "Welcome to &#$@#(%"

Is it just ME or is driving in Korea really dangerous?

2007-08-08T19:34:00.001+09:00

You'd think that after 6 or so vehicular accidents in my 11 years in Korea that I might think about taking public transportation. But, I'm a little hard-headed that way. Today, it became number 7. Now, I don't claim to be the best driver (like so many of those taxis that you see out there) but I try to obey most of the laws most of the time. I figure that might be my problem. Here's the rundown up until today:

1. 1998 - riding in a tour bus near Mai-san (Horse-ears mountain in Chollanam-do) the driver temporarily forgets that he is driving a bus and takes a corner on a mountain road like he's in a Ferrari in the newly fallen rain and ends up in the culvert on the side of the road. No one hurt, but it took a while to get out of the bus since it was leaning against the side of the mountain.

2. 1999 - Driving a motorcycle about 2 minutes from my house in Busan. The driver in the lane next to me decides to take an illegal U-turn at the crosswalk from the second lane from the middle; I was nearest the double-yellow line. I was broadsided and knocked into very fortunately stopped oncoming traffic and unfortunately into a parked van, head first. Damage: motorcycle pretty much totaled, 5 days in the hospital but no broken bones. The other guy didn't have any insurance and paid the medical but couldn't pay for the motorcyle (750Kaw Vulcan)

3. 2000 - At the request of my soon to be wife, I gave up 2 wheels for a jeep-like Rocsta (Kia/Asia). Driving outside of EonYang, I was trying to make a Pseudo-legal U-turn at a 45 degree angled three-way intersection(legal place for U-turn but I was all the ay up to the stop line) the woman behind me decided I was making the obtusely-angled left turn, but too slowly. She tried to pass me from behind and crossed the double yellow and smacked into my right front wheel. Seemed like everyone was ok but grandma in the passenger seat seemed a little shaken up. Trip to the police station had the men in blue advising her to drop it since it was her fault.

4. 2002 - Rear-ended by a MaryKay Cosmetics sales rep when the traffic in front suddenly stopped, so did I. She must have been working on her makeup or something because she just didn't stop until she crushed the back end of my Longbody Galloper with her Sonata III. No one hurt and insurance paid for a new rearend and a rental car.

5. 2005 - Rear-ended at a stoplight near downtown Daegu. This one hit me pretty hard and crushed both the "battle bumper" and the regular bumper. I didn't feel it right away, but I went to the hospital for about a week on that one. Suffered something called an Internal Disk Disruption which basically translates to "well, we know you are having pain but there is nothing we can really do about it because the surgury is more dangerous and could potentially leave you worse off than you are. So...bear it." I'm still working on proper compensation to this day. Car was repaired at the expense of the other guy's insurance company.

6. 2006 - Rear-ended (YES AGAIN!!) at a crosswalk stoplight on the way back from a trip to the hospital for a doctor's consultation about the 2005 accident. Also, not totally resolved. But I can tell you that having another accident while you are still working on a resolution for another more serious accident is a real pain in the petut.

This bring me to today's fiasco:

7. 2007 - Sideswiped by a bus in front of my school. Imagine sitting at an intersection waiting to go straight into the front gate of your school. There are two rows of cars turning left on a green arrow while you wait for the green to go straight. On the right, cars are turning right. When the light changes, the cars on the left start to hurry up to make it into the intersection and you start to head forward on the green. Then a bus comes hurtling down the RIGHT TURN LANE and proceeds to turn LEFT across your path. The back end of the bus clips the front right side of your car. No injuries but MAN!! was I annoyed. However, the driver was appropriately apologetic which soothed my ire enough to keep from ringing his neck. He gave me all the info I needed and told me to call later about fixing the car. I took photos and got a recording of the guy telling me it was his fault. I guess we'll see what happens next.

Oh, Seoul...where art thynst cajones?

2007-08-03T15:41:00.000+09:00

I didn't add my two cents on the hostage crisis to this point because I figured there are enough intelligent opinions out there that I agree with in places like Marmot's Hole, Lost Nomad and Scribblings of the Metropolitician (who has my fav by the way). I have to agree with SotM most because he knows, I know and you know that if they give in to the hostages and remove the troops, it will invite further terrorism against South Korean nationals. Of this, I am sure. So, does anyone else but me wonder what happens if Seoul just decides to grow a pair before going to the negotiations and tell the Taliban that the troops will not be coming home before their appointed time at the end of the year; end of that argument.
Just to add a little drama they should get the local South Korean Imam (assuming there is such a person in this relatively muslim-less country)to demand the immediate release of the women aid workers held captive because it is against the will of Allah as outlined in the Que'ran and declare a Fatwah if any harm should come to them. And as the icing on the cake, the South Korean Government (with the Afgan govt. approval) will put forth its offer; Release the hostages immediately, if they are harmed...not only will we not withdraw the troops, we will quadruple the size of the troups, prepare them for combat and send them into your neck of the woods (or desert or mountain bunker or whatever...) to send your collective asses right straight to Allah so that he can sort the whole thing out for you. End of negotiation, now take your brokedown AK-47 toting self back to that cave you came from and give us back our sisters!! BEEEYATCH!

If anyone cares (weightloss update)

2007-08-01T13:10:00.001+09:00

I havn't commented on the progress I have made in a while and just in case any of my readers out there care to know: I just broke the next plane on my chart and I am down to 105K (231 lbs) That means a total loss of 45K (almost 100 lbs!!) If there are any of you out there who have ever lost a significant amount of weight you know that the compliments from others can really go to your head. Multiply that times about 700 students, parents of privates, and the people you see on the street and you will have an idea of the number of comments that I have had in the past few months. I have to keep telling myself that I am still obese (morbidly so) in order not to get too complacent about the next 25 kilos which I think are the most important. Just to keep myself honest and humble, I had a body fat analysis yesterday and found that I am sadly still around 33%BMI. But considering that, though I didn't have the test done when I began, I was likely around 45-50% last November, I will consider that good too. The kilos have been coming off slowly the past couple of months and it is harder to keep them off so the scales are yo-yoing from day to day depending on the amount of intake vs. the amount of movement. Basically, I need to get off my ass and execise. I'm still waiting for my wife to let me buy that recumbent bike (see wishlist) I've been wanting :)

Here are some stats:
Weight:
Nov. 150K
Now 105K

Waist:
Nov. 60 in +
Now 40 in

Shirt:
Nov. XXXXL (No neck to speak of)
Now XL (17 1/2)

For any of you out there trying to lose weight, keep it up. Try to avoid eating at night. I personally make it a habit to abstain after 6pm. Avoid alcohol and large quantities of meat (hard to do in Korea :) and try walking or taking a subway from time to time (and avoid the elevators and escalators while you're at it.) And good luck to you.

The funniest thing I've heard all day

2007-07-23T08:52:00.000+09:00

Granted it's only 9am but still....
I was watching CNN and Kristi Lu (Make-me-actually-want-to-watch-CNN) Stout was talking about a new discovery that male circumcision helps reduce the spread of aids (up to 60% apparently). While it is, I must say, a less than fascinating subject and actually a bit painful to ponder, I found myself watching intently (Thank God for KL). At the end of the interview, I noticed the name of the Australian scientist who was the chosen 'expert' on the subject and busted up laughing; Kevin De Cock
LOL

Here is some information from BBC on the subject if you're interested

Politics just got more interesting

2007-07-19T09:45:00.001+09:00

Don't know if I would vote for either of them at this stage but this video is pretty funny.

Fear and Loathing in Seoul

2007-06-21T09:23:00.000+09:00

I try to avoid going to Seoul whenever possible and I think there are more than a few bloggers and readers out there that share my feelings (Nomad? can I have an "amen"?). Unfortunately, the US Embassy no longer has a mission in Busan, so from time to time, I have to pay a visit to Seoul to renew passports, register children, have some Thai food, etc.

I suppose if I were still single (or at least childless) I could probably stomach it a little easier. After all, Seoul does offer a variety of things that are not easily available here in Daegu. But since I have children, it becomes necessary for me to do the single most onerous thing that a father can do with his children. Drive to and in Seoul!

Unless all the drivers I saw were from out of town for some strange reason, I fail to understand why anyone would want to drive in Seoul. After all, the subway system is top notch and covers most of the important parts of the city. Everywhere I went, what should have been a 10 minute drive turned into an hour of 4-wheeled insanity. There is no WAY, I would do that every day.

I was pushing my son around in his stroller and I ambled past a real estate agency and just like back in Daegu, the windows were covered with advertisements for area apartments. I noticed a sign advertising the same apartment complex where we were staying with my wife's relatives and the price: 300,000,000 won!! Then I thought, "OK, this IS Seoul, I should expect things to be more expensive right?" Then I noticed the top of the advertisement: JeonSe (Key money deposited for rental NOT ownership)!!! and I realized that this amounted to almost twice the cost of my own equally sized apartment back here in Daegu. I later learned that the same midsized apartment in MokDong would have cost almost double that for purchace. Ladies and gentlemen, that is almost 600,000 USD (if you include closing costs and remodeling, etc. that must be done) for a 15 year old, 1140 Square Foot, Second floor apartment. So, I just thought, let's just see what I could get if I had that much money back home in Knoxville.

$524,500

Single Family Property
Status: Active
Area: 117
Subdivision: WHITTINGTON CREEK
Age: 4 year(s) old
4 total bedroom(s)
3.5 total bath(s)
3 total full bath(s)
1 total half bath(s)
10 total rooms
Approximately 3400 sq. ft.
Two story
Style: Traditional
Master bedroom
Living room
Dining room
Kitchen
Master bedroom is 17X14
Living room is 13.5X11.5
Dining room is 16X12
Kitchen is 25X13
Tennis court(s)
3 car garage
Heating features: Central
Central air conditioning
Interior features: Breakfast area, Cable TV avail., Dishwasher, Disposal, Microwave, Pantry, Range and oven, Washer/dryer hookups
Exterior features: Elect. srvc avail., Level lot, Patio, Porch, Tennis court
Approximate lot is 106X165 Located on a cul-de-sac

Courtesy Realtor.com

NO CONTEST!

Call me a redneck if you please, but I'll take that over a box of concrete any day I can.

Here's another tack, if you have an apartment outside the metro Seould area but you worked in the downtown area, you would probably spend an hour or two in traffic each way and spend a fortune in gas, not to mention the toll taken from your health due to stress. How about selling your 32 pyeong (1140 sq. ft.) Seoul Suburban box and moving to Daegu. Buy a brand new 60 pyeong (2134 sq. ft.) box in the best part of town, 5 minutes from the KTX and take 30 minutes a day off your commute, save gas, save the planet, save your sanity, go fishing, commune with nature sans the hour drive to get there. While you are at it, with the money you have saved on gas and medical bills, you can buy a nice car or two to tool around in.

Shed a tear for the gas companies

2007-05-16T10:22:00.000+09:00

Those poor gas companies

Last week, the average gas price reached 1,532 won per liter, the highest in the past nine months, largely affected by soaring oil prices due to insecurity in Nigeria. In particular, the gas price in Seoul exceeded 1,600 won....

...But the people from the petrochemical industry also said they feel victimized since the average gas price has risen only 6 percent at home in the past five months, when the international oil price has hiked about 24.6 percent.

Maybe they forgot about this:

The nation’s antitrust watchdog fined four leading local oil refiners a total of 52.6 billion won ($56 million) for fixing the prices of their oil products in 2004.
The Fair Trade Commission said yesterday that SK Corp., GS Caltex Corp., Hyundai Oilbank Corp. and S-Oil Corp. colluded on the prices of gas, kerosene and diesel sold at service stations from April to June 2004.
“During that period, their gasoline, kerosene and diesel prices rose by 40 won to 70 won per liter, while crude oil prices rose 20 won per liter,” said Kim Byong-bae, vice chairman of the commission.

Maybe they can figure out a way to run my car on all the tears.

Ad of the week (14May)

2007-05-16T10:09:00.000+09:00

Not sure if this qualifies as an advertisement but some might like to think so.

Pretzel Babes

2007-05-15T13:23:00.000+09:00

Here's hoping this gives you the same kind of nightmares it has given me. :)
Enjoy

Contortionnist EXPERIMENT II - video powered by Metacafe

hattip to Asian-sirens.com (a nice but decidedly NOT worksafe site)

Hell's Angels Korea Chapter??!!

2007-05-15T10:33:00.000+09:00

From the JoongAng:

They may not be as fearsome as America’s legendary Hell’s Angels

Indeed!? But they are still a pain in the petut; These gangs of motorcycles that run through the cities at all hours making a general nuisance of themselves. Since I live in Daegu, I don't see the types of large gangs that this article talks about but I have seen groups that are as large as 30 to 50 motorcycles riding through the streets; sans muffler, and making a helluva racket in a residential area at midnight. The stupidest thing about it all is that the police actually seem afraid of these groups. They are powerless to do anything about them and usually just stand by helplessly and watch or at best take video in hopes of catching a few.
Now, what do you suppose would happen if such a group manifested itself in the U.S.? What would the police do there?
Another question: If they were able to "infiltrate the group" then why couldn't they set up roadblocks along the announced route; why not mobilize the riot police and teach them how to dismount a slow moving motorcycle rider without killing anybody?
I am inviting non-violent (or life-threatening) suggestions for handling the problem.
Here are some of mine (feel free to comment)

1. How about tagging? Use some spray cans of that invisible paint that only shows up under UV light and mass spray the riders. They will think they just got sprayed by water or something..go home and the police will track them overnight with UV lights. Clothes, bikes, helmets, hair, etc would all be covered or at least spotted to positively identify the culprits. Don't forget to remove their licences and impound their motorcycles.

2. Infiltrators notify police of the event and all police offices surrounding the area set up individual roadblocks to individually stop riders (one would assume the group mentality gives many of them their bravado and individually or in smaller groups they would be easier to handle.

3. High Tech Variation on the tagging: Electronically tag the motorcycles with some kind of projectile weapon, track them on GPS to their homes or hideouts. Don't forget to impound their motorcycles and remove their licenses.

Any other suggestions?

Ok, I give up.

2007-05-14T11:15:00.000+09:00

I just can't seem to understand these Yellow sand things....the sattelite picture looks like it should be right on top of us now but the readings show little or no sand...if anyone out there has a clue of how to get accurate info about the yellow sand and when it is coming...please let me know. Have a great sand free day.

Report 1 ring calls

2007-05-10T10:54:00.000+09:00

If you have a cellphone and have received calls from 060 numbers that hang up before you can answer....you're no the only one. NEVER call them back...make a mental not of the number and report them to the SPAM police in English HERE.
If you call the number back, you will be charge in a way similar to those 1-900 numbers back home...per minute with a minimum charge.

PLEASE....report these idiots.

Fishing in Hazmat Gear?

2007-05-10T09:41:00.000+09:00

Based on the information from the KMA satellite model, it looks like we are in for a big sand storm over the weekend:

This is the projected satellite picture for 9pm Friday evening. I'm no meteorologist (so I don't want any whining if I'm wrong), but it looks like with prevailing winds, unless it breaks up significantly over the Yellow Sea, we should see a potential 2000 + storm by Saturday or Sunday. So those of you getting ready for a nice weekend fishing trip, you might want to consider bringing hazmat gear.
If Ochre is bad, Yellow is hazardous, Orange is worse, Red is...well...you get the picture...can you imagine what the Burgundy would be like? Egad!

A Better Yellow Sand Monitor

2007-05-04T10:23:00.000+09:00

Courtesy of the Korean Meteorological Association you can see a satellite picture of the sand that is here or on the way (This site is in Korean. The less informative though interesting English site is here) . The Yellow Sand Forecast Model (황사모델예측) is (purportedly) up to the hour and is adjustable plus or minus 12, 24 and 48 hours with arrows indicating prevailing winds and colors to indicate the severity of the cloud. This way, you can actually see it before it comes. Which is better than the one on the US Army site (the identical chart is available in the KMA site) because that one is often behind.

This site also has some other interesting satellite pictures but they are a little more complicated to read and see where and how much sand is on the way. Check them out here.

On another note, the last couple of weeks you will notice the yellow dust that covers your car. That IS NOT yellow sand. It is pollen, more specifically, Pine pollen I have been told. So, if you are like me, this season is giving you a double whammy of otorhinolaryngololgical nightmares and it I hope this will help someone out there avoid days like this day last month.

BTW, I am still looking/waiting for a way to get up to the hour Yellow Sand and Pollen warnings sent to my cell phone. If anyone knows a way to make this happen please let me know.

Getting Real with History

2007-05-04T08:44:00.000+09:00

Michael Breen has harsh criticism for a panel that recently ruled to confiscate the land of former pro-Japanese collaborators and give the proceeds to the families of independence activists. It's kind of funny that this morning I was thinking about writing something on the ridiculous lengths that certain factions in Korea seem to be willing to go to seek 'reparations' for the atrocities committed by Japan during its colonial rule. I think it was because the Queen of England was visiting the US and I heard a teaser on CNN as I was getting ready, "Will the Queen apologize for the wrongs during the Colonial period?"
And I thought to myself, "GOD!! I hope not."
That is not to be insensitive to the past atrocities done all over the world in the name of colonization, war, military expansion but give me a break and take a "Sliding Doors" hypothetical look at what could have happened if things had been different. What kind of America (or World for that matter) would there be if the British had not been so tyrannical? What if they actually respected the rights and wishes of the countries they colonized? What if they didn't commit all those atrocities?

What happened, happened. It sucked at the time and for a long time after the grieving, weeping and gnashing of teeth continued but that's done now. Get over it, move on and stop trying to punish people who have no business being punished. Just because my great great grandfather did something bad does not mean that I have any responsibility for it. Somewhere in my distant genealogy (so I'm told), Jesse James went around the U.S. west shooting up the place. But I'm also told that there are a few U.S. Lawmakers and Scottish Royalty that fall into the same distant place in my ancestry. And much as I would like to, I cannot make any claim to their wealth or notoriety. Nor would I expect to receive any punishment for their crimes.

Foreigners

2007-04-30T13:53:00.000+09:00

Seems that there are other foreigners in Korea with the volunteer spirit. Good on 'em! My offer still stands for anyone out there with teaching skills; if you would like to volunteer to teach English in your area (even if it is not Daegu). I can help you to contact the right people and make it happen. If you are interested in other volunteer work, contact your local 'dong' office and they can usually point you in the right direction.

Let's SpeaKING???

2007-04-27T21:46:00.000+09:00

You'd think that with the number of native speakers ~~enslaved~~ working at YBMs all over Korea they would be able to find just ONE who would willingly take two seconds to look at this advertising slogan and tell them how utterly WRONG it is and on how many different levels. Someone, somewhere must have thought this was a really clever use of the last part of the word "speaKING" which was (from the Korean in the ad) to tell the reader that they can become an "English Speaking King." The really sad thing is that too many of the target audience for this ad will actually understand EXACTLY what is meant by this poor excuse for English and think it actually IS clever. Then they will start using "Let's" with gerunds and other nouns to say really ~~annoying~~ clever things like, "Let's kisSING", "Let's Well-BEING" or "Let's DrinKING".

Note also: The symbols next to the woman's face that proclaim the years of quality awards received by the product that is YBM. How can you argue with that? It MUST be a good place to learn ~~Konglish~~ English, right?

In case I have erred and there is some obscure usage for a gerund with 'Let's' please let me know. Until then...look for more in the new "AD of the week" section.

Uni Lecturers: You may want to rethink that PhD you're gettin'

2007-04-20T12:30:00.000+09:00

Last November, the Korean government passed a law that was intended to protect contracted workers by requiring employers to make an employee permanent after they have worked two years. The law has basically backfired because now the employers are firing their long-time employees to avoid making them permanent. Now a new wrinkle in the law means:

...employers will not have to give certified professionals,
including lawyers and doctors, and university lecturers with PhDs regular-worker
status even if they have been working for a company for more than two years. The
act also exempts office assistants and postpartum-care assistants.

How this makes any sense at all is known only to the people who passed the laws (and those that may have bribed them to do so) but what is interesting about the law is the part about university and college lecturers. If you have an M.A. you are covered under the law and should be made permanent after working for two years (no grandfather clause as I understand it which means 2 years from last November) but if you have a PhD. you are not protected.

I am going to wait and see how this effects the lives of the foreign lecturers around Korea. My guess is that the universities will do what has already been done wholesale to Koreans nationwide: let them go before the 2 years are up to avoid making them permanent.

That said; I think now might be a good time for foreign university lecturers around Korea to start an organization of some kind in order to take collective legal action should this become reality. As this law starts to take effect a lot of us could find ourselves looking for a job every two years. While some may not have a problem with this, I believe there are a lot of us out there who have been in Korea for a long time and have put down roots in hopes that we will be able to stick around and make a life for ourselves and our families without being forced to be transient.

The idea of compulsory tenure for foreign lecturers seems to be at a crossroads. There have already been some disturbing trends of unis suddenly setting contract limits and letting long-time foreign lecturers go for spurious reasons. On the other hand, I have also heard of a few people who have received or been offered tenure in some tertiary institutions here when they jump through the usual hoops. The stories vary widely but it seems to me that they should not. There are rules that govern the allotment of tenure for Korean professors and those same rules should be applied regardless of nationality.

I'm halfway there !!!

2007-04-19T13:44:00.000+09:00

I finally made it above the 35KG mark. That means I'm half way to my goal. It has been a rough ride and a lot of ups and downs and I'm a little bit annoyed that it took 3 weeks longer than I had hoped to get there. I now sit at 114.2 as of this morning.
I know it will come off more slowly as I get closer to the 100KG mark (and painfully slow between 100 and the goal of 80KG) so I know I'm going to have to start some kind of exercise soon or it will just keep coming back. As I mentioned in my sidebar, I really want to get a recumbent trike to tool around in but the finances just aren't there right now.

My two cents on Cho, Seung-Hui and the VTech rampage

2007-04-19T09:17:00.000+09:00

I have been watching the news since the incident and it seems that the foreign press has picked up on the apparent Korean collective shame (along with shock, dismay, paranoia and a host of other really neat adjectives) regarding the incident. In particular, I am personally dismayed at this seeming shame shared by the Korean psyche. Perhaps the problem is that I am not Korean so I cannot possibly understand the true feelings of the Korean collective. I grew up in the culture that truly created this monster and the one that bears the real shame for this tragedy: The culture of guns and violence that lives on the fringe of every suburban or rural hamlet across America. Cho was a apparently a fringe individual; a ghost in the hallways and invisible to most until it was too late. The system tried to reel him in but they were too little too late apparently; so much for hindsight.

Some of the media have discussed the Korean cultural aversion to mental health issues as a potential catalyst in this disastrous event. I have long been a proponent of the need for this country to take a good hard look at attitudes toward psychotherapy and counselling and this event certainly does not change my mind on that issue. The fact that the killers parents were raised in this environment certainly seems to suggest that they probably would not have approved his mandated need for counseling. So far, I have heard little about his parents except that they took the family from Seoul to the US many years ago to make a better life for their kids. Their story seems typical of the thousands of families that have done the same over the years since then and apparently those other families have not produced such killers. So how can we blame the Korean cultural ideology that seems to have produced a healthy percentage of the finest students in the United States simply because of one bad seed.

So I would like to offer a hearty dose of absolution for Koreans who feel shamed by this incident and those who feel that it may reflect badly upon Koreans in general. This feeling my seem justified under the circumstances. Paranoia of racial reprisal is a real threat in certain parts of the US and I can sympathize with those who feel they want to bring their children back to the relatively gunless shores of the ROK. But best way to view this is perhaps a healthy dose of denial. To me, Cho, Seung-Hui was NOT Korean; not any more than the Columbine killers were. Because this is not about race, this is about violence, guns, alienation and an additional failure of the system to act on a problem that was recognized long ago.

Teaching for Free - Why do it?

2007-04-18T16:23:00.000+09:00

ATTENTION ENGLISH TEACHING F2 VISA HOLDERS (and anyone else who is able):
I am officially recommending that if you have a couple extra hours a week to give free teaching in your community a shot, it is an excellent idea. Many communities have cultural and education centers that offer classes in things like yoga, Chinese, knitting, and other hobbies and activities but English is conspicuously absent from the lists. So, if you are interested and are not sure how to go about it in your community or where to go, please comment or email me and I will try to hook you up.

WHY do it? Here's what I thing (If anyone cares :)

1. As long-time residents and/or F2 visa holders, we have a stake in our communities even if we don't plan to live here forever. The more we make our presence known in a positive way, the better outlook the community can have on the foreign community at large. This benefits both sides.

2. We have all read the negative stories about some foreign teachers; drug users, philanderers, pushers, child abusers, perverts, gangsters, etc. The press seems to try and paint a negative picture of English teachers whenever possible. The only people who are more undeservedly vilified in the press than English teachers are the soldiers of the USFK. Here is an opportunity to turn some of this negative press around.

3. I have heard that in Seoul some of the foreign communities do have a high rate of presence in their communities. But out here in the provinces and outside of these communities, foreigners are fewer and farther between.

4. Having a presence in your community helps level the playing field by giving you a voice in that community when discrimination rears its ugly head. Discrimination is a fact of life for foreigners in Korea. But you will find that the people who work in the local offices are much more understanding and helpful than the average Joe Kim in this situation.

5. For uni and college teachers - volunteer work is something that Korean professors are obligated to do and if any of us EVER expect or would like to have tenure...well, I won't say it but...you get the picture.

6. Volunteerism is highly respected in Korea (as it should be everywhere) but it is highly UNexpected that foreigners will get involved in this way.

7. I know that the USFK has several volunteer organizations that do great work in their communities that include English teaching in orphanages and these are great. So I know that I am not the first to do anything like this. But I have never heard any stories of foreign teachers getting involved in their neighborhoods. I would like to see that change.

8. ____add your own thoughts in the comments section. :)

Other potential benefits include:

1. Private lessons - If you teach private lessons (most F2 holders I know do) you will be surprised at how a class of 20 or so housewives can drum up lessons without even being asked to do so.

2. A presence in the community, particularly with people in local government, will make you a valuable asset to your school. Something that 1 or 2 year contract holders can appreciate.

3. If you teach an evening class, you may find that you are offered more side jobs than you can handle. (How many of you would like to be so busy that you actually have to turn down 50,000 won-plus per hour jobs?)

5. It cannot be expected in a volunteer class, of course, but you may find that you are paid a 'transportation fee' that is more than your school pays you for overtime.

I haven't been doing it for very long but I really can't see any seriously negative aspects to this type of volunteerism. Even if you never get any of these benefits, you still get the benefits of being know and respected as a person who cares about your neighbors and your community. So, once again, if you would like to take the step to be more civic minded then please comment or email me with your questions and thoughts.

If anyone reading this has any other stories about volunteering in Korea (particularly English teaching), I would love to hear them.

Teaching for Free - Unexpected Developments

2007-04-18T16:18:00.000+09:00

I walked into the ward office about twenty minutes before class this week and was flagged down by the “team leader” and invited into the area of the office where the important meetings usually take place. I exchanged niceties with an expectant looking gentleman who was introduced to me as the director of the local cultural center. As soon as I heard who he was, I must admit that the warning bells in my head started going off. Was this guy going to start asking me to teach somewhere else for free?

As it turns out, the Dalseo-Gu Advanced Cultural Center is looking to add English to the list of classes that they offer to the community and this gentleman was looking for some assistance in that respect. Since I can speak some Korean (woefully little after 11 years) they wanted to discuss it with me. I explained that my schedule was too busy this semester to take on any other commitments for teaching. Then, the “team leader” asked me if I could help them to find another foreigner teacher. I explained that unfortunately between school and family commitments I don’t have very much contact with other foreigners (except my much loved readers and fellow bloggers :) and the others on my campus have E2 (school sponsored) visas. I also explained the visa situation that most foreigners face when trying to teach extra classes of any kind. Anything but an F-2 (family sponsor visa) holder would be hard pressed to get permission to teach such a class. I also explained that, in my opinion, there probably would not be too many foreigners out there who would be willing to teach free classes.
It was then that they explained to me that the classes were not free. Much to the contrary, they are very lucrative to the point of being almost irresistible, but the pay depends on the number of students enrolled as the teacher is paid a (very healthy) percentage of the fees paid by the students. I said that I would post this information on my blog and a couple of other places I know about in hopes that some native speaker out there might be interested in taking it on.

There is a sort of catch though. They aren’t looking for just any foreign teacher. They want someone from the community (Daegu and/or DalSeo-Gu) that has, in their words, “a title” like a foreign professor from a local college or university who would be able and willing. By having a recognizable title, they can hopefully draw more students and keep the class going. Makes sense, right?
SO….if anyone out there reads this and you are in Daegu, drop me a comment or an email and I can try and hook you up since I am currently unavailable for this venture.

Enough with the Persecution Complex Already!

2007-04-12T10:47:00.000+09:00

The things that pass for news these days! The Chosun Ilbo laments the current view of Koreans in recent Hollywood movies:

The most egregious example was the movie "Falling Down," directed by Joel Schumacher and starring Michael Douglas. It was released here in 1997, a full four years late, due to opposition from civic groups. In the early part of the movie, a recalcitrant Korean shopkeeper is subjected to a tirade by Michael Douglas’ Angry White Guy. "You come to my country, take my money and don't even learn my language?" Douglas asks. "Do you have any idea how much money my country has given your country?"

And I suppose that there are no Koreans that would do that, so the portrayal of an individual Korean as having this type of personality is just unrealistic, right?

I could say a few words about the way foreigners are treated in the Hallyuwood. I could say how the US Army was demonized in Koreas biggest hit movie "The Host". I could say how local television news programs continuously portray foreign English teachers as unqualified, philandering drug-dealing good-for-nothings. I could go on an on about the lack of even a slightly interesting foreign character in ANY Korean movie or drama. Then I might segue into a tirade about how whenever foreigners ARE cast on big or small screen the dialogue that is written for them is unrealistic and exaggerated. Then I could mention the apparent lack of acting skills found in the foreigners cast. I could go on and on about SES and their public anti-Americanism. I could, go on...but I won't. I hate to state the obvious here but there are people both good and bad in all races. Hollywood and Hallyuwood are cut from the same cloth. Get over yourself!

Something Important to Think About: An Inconvenient Truth

2007-04-09T15:50:00.000+09:00

I don't consider myself to be a liberal (though my father would likely disagree) and I am certainly not one that runs around telling everyone they have to "save the planet" but I just got done watching the Academy Award winning documentary film "An Inconvenient Truth" and I have to say that if you are at all unaware, curious or intrested in the global warming issue you really need to take the time and see this film.
The man who would be president, Al Gore, has been travelling all over the world sharing the basic message that we as a planet of humans are in BIG trouble. He paints a pretty grim picture of the future in his presentation of what he claims are the FACTS about global warming and I must admit he is considerably more believable than Michael Moore or those idiots from "Loose Change" Throughout the near feature length film he presents a variety of intellectually stimulating information that will really make you at least think if not start doing something about it.
There are certainly detractors, naysayers and those who just plain old don't like Al Gore at all (not the least of which I am sure are the oil and auto industries) and I am still trying to sift through all of the information to decide if what he says is as worrisome as he would like us to believe. But nevertheless, the documentary is presented in an way that will at least make you more aware of some of the issues you probably know about as well as some that you may not. And if you are like me, some of it will be shocking to say the least.

Watch the trailer:

Blogger News bar question for anyone

2007-04-06T11:02:00.000+09:00

Google has this cool new feature where you can put a news reel in your blog but when i try to use it it only comes up with Korean news. My blogger and my blog is all in English but my news is in Korean. What gives? Anyone know how to fix this or do i just have to complain to google.

Teaching for free II

2007-04-06T08:56:00.000+09:00

A few weeks ago I posted about a volunteer teaching job that I started at the local 'dong' office (read more here). Unexpected turn of events: the office decided to start paying me a 'transportation fee' as they do with all the teachers that do work there. It turns out that this fee works out to 15,000 won per hour!! That's more than my own college gives me for teaching overtime classes and only 5,000 less than they pay for 'continuing education' classes. Go figure.

The class is going great. There are about 25 or so housewives who have stuck it out so far and they seem to be enjoying the class.

Not fast enough with the camera

2007-04-06T08:43:00.000+09:00

I really gotta practice taking pictures of the things I see around town with my cellphone camera. I saw something that would have made a great picture of just how silly things are with the police. I was sitting at a traffic light waiting to go straight with 2 lanes next to me, 15 cars deep waiting to turn left. The taxi in front of me bypassed the two lines of left-turning traffic and went to the front of the line placing him in front of another car that had done the same thing and wound up squarely in the middle of the crosswalk. Now, this in and of itself would not have been so suprising or upsetting since I see it every day but there was a police car sitting on the sidewalk on the same side of the street. To top this all off another police officer walked across from the opposite side of the street when the crosswalk light changed. He walked right between the two erring cars without even looking crossly at them. I beeped at him and when he looked at me, I indicated the two cars and shrugged my shoulders; blank stare and he walked away and got into his squad car (assumably for a nap). I really wanted to get out and let him have it but there was no where to park and I did not want to risk that he would decide to start giving tickets with me. I just wish I would have taken a picture.

I hate to say I told you so (not!)

2007-04-04T23:20:00.000+09:00

I posted a few weeks back on the subject of weight loss and "why Koreans are becoming fatter" and it seems that those in the know agree with me.

Nocturnal snacks are doing serious damage to the health of Koreans, experts say. It’s not easy to keep a resolution to go on a diet when it is possible to have fried chicken or smoked pork hocks delivered within five minutes even at 1:00 a.m. just by making a phone call. But experts warn that nighttime snacks
are emerging as one of the country’s leading health threats.

In my post I cited night eating (which the linked article calls 'dysphagia')and the Korean night eating culture as a (or even 'the') major cause of the expanding Korean waistline and it looks like I may be on to something. I can certainly tell you that my own battle with dysphagia has been successful so far. I am now down 35kg which is half way to my goal and I credit the larger part of my success on my 'no food in the mouth after 6pm' policy. I can also tell you that just like any good 'holic' (is there a 12-step program for dysphagia?) I have had my relapses where I have consumed food at night and each time it has happened, the scale tells the tale the next morning; usually to the tune of 1 or 2 kilos.

Yellow Sand goes above 2000 in Daegu

2007-04-02T09:43:00.000+09:00

According to the 18th Medcom site (check the sidebar) the yellow sand level for sunday hit 2019 which is INSANE? I have to wonder if the reading was accurate. Evidently the monitor did not record for several hours after the peak. However, if you look at the picture from my office window below, you might start to believe it. I was only outside for a few minutes and from inside I thought it was just another rainy, dark day but I could literally taste the sand in the air. When I got home I felt like I had been playing in a sandbox all afternoon and so immeditely upon returning home I washed my hands and face, changed my clothes brushed my teeth to get the nasty taste out. According to the advisory levels chart, 1000 is "hazardous" 300-500 is considered unhealthy!

On another but related note: most mornings (afternoons and evenings too), the managment office in my apartment comes on the public address system and tells us about some person selling things in the parking lot as well as important things like water tank cleanings, planned electricity outages, servicing of elevators, etc. They even tell us of other items of news like the singing contest in the local park last Saturday evening. Something that would be of great use to everyone, I'm sure, is if they would come on and WARN us not to go outside because of the dust. I had no idea since I don't watch Korean news that much and on Sunday, I don't really read the news either.

There really needs to be some kind of system to warn of these things, no?

Here is the view from my office window at about 5 pm yesterday.

Here is what it looks like today.

And this is not from my office, but it is from the same campus and in the same general direction last Friday when the level was near zero. (with the same camera and setting) Notice that you can see the mountains in the background and the buldings far in the distance.

Can Michael Breen Understand Normal Thinking?

2007-03-31T10:58:00.000+09:00

Over at Korea Times, Michael Breen gives time to possibly the most offensive word in the English language inoffensively and tops it off by using the most commonly used vulgarity no less than 5 times; again without being offensive about it. I guess it just goes to show that 'intent' behind the word is just as important (or more so) as the word itself (an fact that seems lost on some people). Unfortunately, he may have just taught the word to a few Korean students who will now walk around saying the word as if it is a natural part of their vocabulary.Those of you who teach in Korean classrooms out there can just imagine the day that you walk into a classroom and hear one student scream Mr. Breen's "C-word" across the room at another student.

God forbid that these words should somehow find their way into the common everyday Korean vocabulary like another marginally offensive phrase that I hear all to often and all too inappropriately. Case in point: the other day in class, one particularly noisy student in the front row responded to my announcement of next weeks homework with a hearty "Oh, My God!" (More like "O, Mah-ee, Gaht"). Normally, I wouldn't have flinched but he was sitting next to a NUN! I know that she probably was not as offended by its use as the Mother Superior at your local Catholic school back home would have been but I still felt the urge to whip out my ruler and give his palms a good firm public whacking. I tried to politely advise him (in Korean, to be sure he would understand) that this expression is really a 'vulgarity' and should not be used in polite speech, particularly when you are sitting next to a nun! The other students around him smacked him in the arm and used an expression that I mistakenly taught the students in jest one day:
"DUH!"
The sister just smiled and nodded approvingly.
And I realized that at least something was getting through in my classes.

For Those Who Miss TV Back Home

2007-03-22T13:47:00.000+09:00

And for those who want to watch a movie for free from time to time. Don't ask me how in the world they get away with this but TVLinks has links to several videos of TV shows, cartoons, anime and even movies and sports programs; a pretty good assortment of stuff. They even have some links for current series that havn't hit Korea yet like Season 7 of CSI and the new 24 season. So if you've got lots of extra time on your hands and want to watch some old episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space 9...knock yourself out. I just watched "Babel" in streaming low quality....oh happy day!

On words and racism

2007-03-19T10:18:00.000+09:00

Jodi over at the Asia Pages had a lively discussion about Ted Turner's use of the word "chinaman" in a public setting. I guess I came off as defending Mr. Turner and I certainly did not mean to do that. I started writing this response to some of the other conversation and in particular to one troll who just seems to pop up everywhere these days and I got to thinking that if I am going to write such a piece, I should at least post it myself here too. There is an interesting little anecdote near the end that I hope you all take the time to reflect on and let me know what you think.

Now, I am starting to think that nobody is reading my blog because I don't get any comments these days. If you are a regular reader. Please, at least drop a comment or two just to let me know you are out there. I don't have a counter, so I don't even know if anyone is reading me.

Pasted from Asia Pages
Ok, I don't blog on weekends, so i'm just a little late here.Jodi, I get your point about just admitting ingnorance and promising not to use the term. Probably that would have been best in this situation rather than appearing to defend the use of the term by a media mogul. Believe me, it was not my intention to defend Turner...he SHOULD know better in theory but obviously in practice he does not; hence the suggestion of a spindoctor and largetype teleprompter next time he speaks publicly. Look how they have helped improve Bush's image since before 9/11. He was known far and wide for his linguistic ineptitude, but I digress.Honestly though, and not to defend Turner, am I misunderstanding something here or are people trying to say that the use of the pejorative "chinaman" is linguistically equivalent to the use of "nigger" in today's vernacular? They are both just words and as with any word in any language can have multiple meanings, nuances, usages, etc. based on context, inflection and tone. Certainly, to the people of the early 1800's the coining of the term was hardly different than our use of the words black and white. Nigger was a derivative of European meanings for 'black,' a term we still use (though tenuously) to refer to those with the darkest of skin pigment and a "Chinaman" was just the way that people of asian decent were denoted in the time.However, language has evolved as it always does and the meanings, nuances, usages, etc. of these words and many other formerly non-pejorative expressions have changed because we (as Americans) have a problem with how to discuss the differences between people's race or skin color and have become overly concious of words themselves instead of the context in which they are used and without considering the source.Allow me an example. In the part of the country where I grew up and in the time in which I grew up there was scarcly any more than biraciality. And while I have traveled and lived in other parts of the country, I have learned about how certain references can be offensive. Many of my friends and family have not had that experience and continue to live in a world in which they are likely to never know an Asian person except at the Chinese restaurant or the laundromat (stereotypes, I know, but where i grew up they were EXACTLY true) If they were trying to be 'sensitive' they would have refered to these Asian businessmen and women as 'oriental' which is also a term for which Asian-Americans have distain. It is unlikely that people I know would use the word Chinaman as far as I know but if they heard the word used by another person, it is likely they would understand and, less likely they would be offended by it because it means (to them) nothing more than a person from China. Are they racist because they accepted the usage and connotation of the word based on its context and their own personal experience? Unlikely, as they are simply ignorant of its pejorative meaning. What about the person using it? If they simply used it to refer to a persons race without any ill-will should they be labled a racist? Mr. Kim makes my point for me. To him, the use of the word 'redneck' among people he knows is unoffensive. He is obvioulsy unaware of its pejorative connotations and though I personally take no offence at the word itself; only in the context in which it is used, I know plenty of people that would hear the term used by an Asian and give him the same treatment that I might receive if I used the "N" word in the middle of Harlem, Compton, or Watts.Just about any word can be made pejorative in the right context and with the right nuance. I could use the word "Korean" in a certain tone, inflection and context and have it to be pejorative even though the word itself is not and never has been.

Why do I care, really? When I was in Elementary School (early 70"s) I recall spacing out in class and looking at the map of the world, in particular, Africa. I noticed a country called "Niger" and suddenly it dawned on my 2nd grade mind that this must be where my friend Jimmy came from since he was black and other people called him "a nigger" (the only one in the class, sadly). Suddenly, the teacher called my attention and asked me a question. I can't remember the exact question but I do recall my answer to the question pretty well. "People call Jimmy a nigger because he is from Niger (pronounced the same as with 2 g's)." My teacher became incensced and dragged me to the principle's office where my parents were summoned and it appeared I was in for the lashing of my life all because I made a deduction that was incorrect based on my experience at the time . I am sure the Mr. Kim will revel in this little redneck tale and claim proof of the true color of my neck and ignorance. However, I learned an important lesson from that situation as I think back on it; one which I can hardly forget even as I have passed 40. The funny part of this story is that Jimmy never got angry at me and was my friend all the way through the 6th grade. He understood that I didn't mean it "like the others" and forgave my ignorance; "out of the mouths of babes" If I had had the same experience with an Asian classmate (never had one till college) and used the word 'chinaman' would the result have been different?

What a freaking disaster....my apologies

2007-03-15T15:41:00.000+09:00

This will be the last one today I promise. I changed the titles of all of my archives too and some of them wound up on Marmot's aggregator. WOW!! am I ever embarrassed....if anybody actually reads any of these old posts before they realize the mistake...my SINCEREST apologies to you and to Marmot for the snafu. Live and learn eh?

Fixed the Title Problem

2007-03-15T13:24:00.000+09:00

I'm a blogging newbie and didn't know i have to 'turn on' the title field in my blogger. So, all of my aggregator posts to Marmot's Hole come out with the title and the part of the first line. Sorry about that. It's fixed now...enjoy.

Teaching English for Free

2007-03-15T10:18:00.000+09:00

I recently walked into my local "Dong" office and told the guy at the biggest desk in the office that I was interested in volunteering my English teaching services for the community. He seemed, at first, a bit confused but eager to listen to my ideas and take my information so he could get back to me. He asked me several questions about my availability and for how long I would be willing to teach the classes and we parted ways with an enthusiastic handshake.

A few days later, it was a done deal. We worked out a time schedule and the class was advertised around the community via posters, signs and fliers (even one on the bulletin board next to the elevator in my apartment). This week, on Tuesday, I began teaching a group of 31 people, mostly housewives and all were women, save 2 elderly gentlemen. They are all rank beginners but seem eager enough to learn and I assume that since they only have to pay for the book they are quite pleased with themselves for finding out about this class.

Really, I knew what to expect for a class that begins at 2 o’clock in the afternoon and I got exactly what I expected. I know that there are a few out there who either think I am nuts for teaching for free and still others who question my motives. Admittedly, my motives are not completely altruistic, but a good sense of volunteerism and community spirit are at the heart of it. Volunteerism is growing in Korea but I believe that in a land where everything is centered on the family and close acquaintances there is not near enough of it and the foreign community in Korea really needs to be able to step up and do it not only for the sake of their individual communities but for the future of the foreign community at large. I may be waxing a bit optimistic on this but isn’t volunteerism an excellent way to show our Korean hosts that we care about being a part of the community and not apart from it? Maybe volunteering to teach a once-a-week English class at your local neighborhood office isn’t exactly feeding the poor or even (like some of the US military volunteers do) teaching at an orphanage but it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Maybe some people who would never dream of paying for a hagwon or a private teacher will try it out and learn to love English and discover that it is really worth it. At the very least it is something new and I know that it is something that the "Dong-Jang" (the Korean equivalent of a local district councilman) assured me he had never heard of. And after the first meeting, I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment at pioneering such an idea in my neighborhood.

What was my motivation? Not too long ago, I saw an advertisement on the bulletin board next to my elevator advertising Chinese, Yoga, Jazz dance and other lessons available at the local ‘dong’ office. I recall wondering why English was not one of the offerings on their plate and then thinking that they probably would have a hard time finding someone who could teach for free (keeping visa restrictions in mind, very difficult for the average E2 holder but with my F visa, no problem.) I really did not think about it too much after that but I have been meeting from time to time with a retired professor from a local university for language exchange (he learns English and I learn Korean) and he and I were discussing the things that a “full-time instructor” (전임강사) would normally be doing to obtain tenure and make the step to “assistant professor” (조교수). Among the things he mentioned was community service, publications, on-campus service for student clubs and organizations, etc; basically, the same things that would be expected for tenure almost anywhere in the world. One of the things he emphasized was that the universities want to see how the professor is “spreading his brainpower and increasing the profile of the school.” So, I thought, “why not?”

My college is one of the few in Korea where the foreign staff is treated with a good deal of respect and a higher than normal level of equality. I even understand that one of the former foreign teachers was offered the professor position but had to decline it and leave Korea due to family matters. So, if there are ulterior motives for my free class then that is it. The school is aware of my volunteering for the community and it has received a good deal of publicity around this area. My name as well as the school I teach for has been well advertised in the community and that hopefully makes everyone giddy.

On the opening day, I was treated to a brief shindig for the inauguration of the class. With the new students looking on and a local public television crew on hand to film the presentation, a big sign lined the back of the stage announcing the inception of the class and a beautiful bouquet of flowers was presented to me in appreciation. I made an all too brief, impromptu speech in Korean in which I humbly promised to do my best and the councilman said a few words of appreciation and introduction and then it was off to the classroom. After it was all said and done, I felt pretty good about it.

Keep checking back to find out how continue to feel about it as it progresses. If you are interested in starting something similar in your neighborhood but are not conversant in Korean, drop me a line and I’ll see if I can help you.

Up with mini-skirts

2007-03-08T13:23:00.000+09:00

Something about a svelte, nice-legged woman wearing high heels, knee-high stockings and a short plaid skirt that just makes a man feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

That is, until he realizes that the bones in his right hand are being crushed by his wife or that he has been locked in an ocular death grip – you know the one…that’s the look in your wife’s eyes when she catches you leering; the one that sort of makes you feel like that guy Darth Vader mind strangled in “Return of the Jedi.”

My dad always used to say on the subject “Just because you’ve ordered don’t mean you can’t look at the menu.” While some will argue that only an insecure or overly jealous woman would make a big deal out of a glance at a pretty girl walking by in a short skirt, others would argue that it is a matter of respect. If you are like me then you realize clearly that you are too old and fat to be even slightly interesting to that girl walking down the street showing off her gams anyway. So is there harm in looking? If it makes my wife or girlfriend feel uncomfortable or even just plain angry when I look at other women, shouldn’t I do my best to respect her wish? Well….shouldn’t I?

To be honest, I really envy those guys out there who seem to have the stoicism to not look (same gender preference notwithstanding). How DO they do it? I’m not talking about the guys who try to pretend they are not looking. Even when they are busted they try to make like it wasn’t the girls legs; it was her ensemble, “Ugh, how tacky!” Trying desperately to pretend they are not interested or that they think that short skirts are somehow a blight on the earth. I’m talking about the guys that just seem to be able to either see only the one they are with or even when in a room surrounded with mini-skirt wearing hotties would seem to be looking at absolutely nothing.

So, being the card-carrying fence rider that I am, I am somewhere directly between mini-skirts are a sign of the decadent influence of western society that should be banned and a great big Austin Powersesque “YEAH BABY!!!” This conflicted mindset comes from the fact that I am married and though I wish I could respect the feelings and desires of my wife by not ever looking at another woman, I feel a certain angst every time an attractive woman walks by in a short something. I know I probably shouldn’t but I also know there is a high possibility that I will; however unintentionally J. This begs the question about men in general: Do we CHOOSE to look or not? Is it an animal instinct that uncontrollably draws our eyes to the irresistible flesh?

And another thing: I don’t want to sound too rhetorical here because I am really confused about this matter, so for the women readers out there who wish to comment please answer the following: Do you do it on purpose? Are you trying to test my will? Which is it: you WANT to be looked at or you don’t? And finally, do Korean women somehow think differently about this than western women?

Somehow, I have a suspicion that not all women really WANT to be looked at ‘like that.’ But a woman who is walking down the street with a butt cheek hugging shorts or skirt and high heels MUST want to be looked at by someone. At the very least, she must be aware that she WILL be looked at and with that awareness at the time she is getting dressed does not do what is necessary to avoid being looked at “like that.” So, we must assume that she is complicit and should at least expect to be looked at. Whether or not she wants to just doesn’t matter. But somehow it seems they expect that they can CHOOSE who should look at them. They may be hoping some “Rain” or Dong-Gun Jang look-alike will pay attention but if some balding 40-something, a zit-faced drooling teen or even an old geezer coughing up his lungs in the subway entrance stops expectorating long enough to take a good hard look then that’s the breaks sweetcheeks. If you are gonna wear it, you better bear it.

For any red-blooded, heterosexual male on the planet, this spring in Korea is shaping up to be the largest eye candy store in history. The weather hasn’t even really warmed up yet and already the numbers are increasing exponentially with each passing day. The newspapers are reporting that we will be assaulted with not only the usual short skirts but also the ‘minidress’. For those of you who still remain single and/or unattached, happy vistas to you. For those of you on the other side of the fence, well…good luck anyway. Here's a parting thought:

Yellow Sand is coming, read this to be prepared for it!!!

2007-02-23T21:16:00.000+09:00

The papers are reporting high Yellow Sand (황사) levels to "begin" today (though according to several bloggers in the northern part of the RoK, it has already been here for a while). So, as a public service, I thought I would add a link to my sidebar for the 18th MEDCOM's Yellow Sand Level monitor. It is kind of cool, you can actually see the levels from day to day. It also has information in the sidebar as to what the levels indicate currently (level of danger?). You need to know what your nearest military base is though if you want the readings for YOUR area as they vary from place to place on the peninsula. Click the links at the top of the page to change the chart. Hope you find it as useful as I do:) . I hope they don't mind I ripped the .pdf from their site that gives lots of useful information about how to handle the Scourge of the Gobi. (or if it is unreadable on your computer you can just go here, but i think you need adobe. You could always just go to the link above and click the link on the sidebar that says "click to see information card")

Small world story #35 (or 2 degrees of separation)

2007-02-21T21:32:00.000+09:00

Regular readers will recall the previous 'small world' story where a fellow I work with was the son of my middle school Industrial Arts teacher in Hopkinsville, Kentucky. This comes close to topping that one:

I recently decided to try and see about attending church on the local military base and was able to procure the phone number for the command chaplain. I made an appointment to meet him on base in his office to discuss the details. Of course, one of the first questions that any two Americans in Korea will start with is some variation on the "where are you from" theme. When I responded with my hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee I received a,
"Get the heck out of town!"
To which I replied, "I will not!"
We started a conversation that not only included knowing similar places as one would expect from two people hailing from the same place but as it turns out, knowing many of the same people from the small suburban Knoxville town right down to my across-the-street neighbor and a few familiar classmates. Topped off with having actually been in the same place at the same time (Tragically though, the funeral of a close classmate of mine).
I have had other stories in my life: running into my high school Latin teacher in the Chicago O'Hare airport, several hometown-distant chance run-ins with people who know my father, passing by a high school classmate in the Tokyo airport, just freak meetings that really make you wonder if Milgram didn't have it right with his small world phenomenon (aka six degrees of separation).
I wonder who I'll run into next?

Why Koreans are becoming fatter

2007-02-13T09:56:00.000+09:00

I know the title is going to get me into some trouble, but if it gets you to read this...well good on ya.
As those who know me or have been reading, I have lost a lot of weight in the past 4 months; 28 kilos (bout 62 pounds) all told. Of course, a lot of people ask me how I have been doing it and my first thought is to tell them I have been on the "Ghandi" diet; which is about how it feels at times. My wife will tell you that it is because i take two large spoons of chung-gook-jang (청국장) in the morning before eat and at night before I go to bed. But I think that the real reason is that I STOPPED EATING AT NIGHT!! I made myself a hard and fast rule, when the sun is down, nothing goes in the mouth, period. Now, you would think that is pretty easy but give it a try sometime and see.
Now, I come to the revalation: why Koreans are getting fatter. Now before the haters start in on me, do a little research and you will find that it is a hard and fast FACT that there are more fat children in school these days. Now, I am not touting the Korea Times as a bastion of factual reporting or anything, but for easy reference to the problem look here and here for starters. And as if to prove my point...here.
It seems like an easy thing to do but if you are pretty much immersed into Korean culture like I am then you will see that it is a near impossible task. The culture almost demands that you consume food at night. Before I came to Korea, I learned about post-work drinking culture and I expected that while doing business and socializing here that I would be prepared. But as most people who live here for any time know, Koreans DO NOT drink without eating. There is the ubiquitous (If you like that word, you HAVE in Korea a long time) Anju or side dishes that must be consumed when embibing alcohol.
But it's not just the drinking culture...Kids are at school all day and when they come home, mother feels the motherly need to feed her seed late at night before they stagger off to sleep weary from a long day of school and hagwons. Even socializing with family and friends means eating. So, if you meet at night...you eat.
One of the most difficult things for me is when i visit my wife's family. When we visit and the kids go to bed, it is time to eat and embibe. It is difficult to say no. Everyone is urging me to "just eat a little", "have one", "c'mon, it's just this once." and I just have to say "no" because I know that if I start, I can't easily stop.
So, those of you, Korean or not, whose waists are ever expanding. Give it a try and you will see that it is not as easy as it seems but if you are successful in kicking the latenight eating habit, you may lose a few kilos too.